From the Muck to the Mighty; My Journey with Jesus

The last week has been one of total chaos. It started with me not even wanting to live in this house or this city anymore, and it ended with breakthrough, freedom, and more confirmation from the Lord that I’m hearing Him clearly.  I missed the Thursday night service this week, so I was glad to get back into church on Sunday. (Me missing service would turn out to be a key part of the end of this testimony)  On the way to church yesterday morning, I was talking with Regis and the Lord dropped another one of His bombs on me. “Go door to door healing the sick” I heard. I immediately started laughing because in no way is my introverted flesh comfortable doing door to door healing services especially here in Uniontown. I’m like Lord, I just started the monthly prayer meetings here, let me get some footing 🤣 So I’m telling Regis how the Lord is always pulling me in directions of stretching, obedience and growth; and that when it gets warmer out we are going door to door to pray for ...

When things in life don't go as planned, when we feel overwhelmed and emotional, when we feel like we are drowning in life; we have to stand on the goodness of God. We have to stand on the fact that He is Good. We have to stand firm in our faith that better days will come. We have to understand that our faith indeed moves mountains; even if all we can muster up in the moment, is an amount of faith equivalent to a mustard seed, or a single tear running down our face as we cry out Abba, Father. We have to understand that we don't pass through the valley of the shadow of death, but that we live there. Whether we like it or not, I think most of us can agree on the fact that this world seems to be going "down hill" at a steady rate. At least as far back as we can remember our parents and grandparents saying the same thing. It seems as this world continues to decline, get worse, divide or altogether fall apart; time keeps moving. With or without our participation in this li...

My motto has become “What else is there to do at 2am but to pray”. I’ve been on this schedule for as long as I can remember, always awake at night. It’s an amazing refresher for an introvert to be alone in a quiet house. To have that breathing room to just be. Not so much when you have three dogs a creaky old house and a husband that has to get up early for work. So I’ll lay here awake, tossing around, trying not to make noise or let the dogs make noise but inadvertently at some point wake Regis up only for him to look at me and go “why are you still awake?” and for me to wonder how people sleep all night. If you’re wired this way, you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. You’re probably called to intercede in prayer.  I’ll sit on the floor by the electric fireplace at the end of the bed and pray. Sometimes I’ll lay awake for hours staring at the ceiling, listening for the Lord. Tonight, I asked the Lord to come and sit with me for a while. I poured my heart out. I haven’t been dedic...

  I heard the Lord say “I will be your strong tower in 2023.” When He spoke, it was not in a tone that was reassuring or comforting but it was said as a matter of fact statement.  As this truth settled into my spirit, I was met with a vision of myself standing in a dusty field. It looked like the desert. It was dry and the air felt stagnant. There was no breeze. It was quiet.  Suddenly the dry grass began to sway. I heard the wind pick up with the sound like a freight train coming at you at a hundred miles an hour. My hair was blowing in the wind, sand and dirt were beating against my face. I was starting to lose my balance. The wind didn’t let up, as a matter of fact it increased. As it picked up, rain began to fall. Thunder and lightning rang through the sky.  As this storm around me increased, the temptation to panic welled up. As it did, however, so did the presence of the Lord. This confidence in Christ filled my spirit and I lifted my arms to praise the Lord. A...

  I had a dream last night that I was seated on a high top chair at what appeared to be one of those old wooden water troughs that you can pan for gold in. As the muddy water ran past my lap, I began to see pieces of gold jewelry getting caught in the metal screen in front of me. I recognized one of the pieces as an old ring that I had parted ways with a few years back. I was excited to see it. I picked it out of the murky water, polished it off, and tried it on to see if it would fit. It was so tight on my finger, which in the natural didn't make sense because my hands are the same size they have always been. I took the ring back off and set it down feeling bewildered. I looked again and another ring was caught in the screen. It was beautiful, it was new, I had never seen it before, but again, it did not fit my finger. Once again, as I tried it on, it was way too small. I felt a feeling of disappointment and discouragement attempt to overshadow me, but quickly the Lord spoke....

  Everything has seemed like blur over the last few weeks. From adjusting to being home from the mission trip, to finishing my finals, working and serving as led, its like the days run together and it's already Christmas. I've had the blessing last weekend to slow down. To spend time with good friends and to do what the Lord has been calling me. To listen, to obey and to remain thankful for the church that I call home.  I know that I shouldn't be a feelings chaser but I can't help loving the way the Lord's presence feels in a church. When He hits you with that peace, that love, that excitement and anticipation; I love that feeling of oneness in the body of Christ. Our church service on Sunday was one of uniting the body in a cry to soften our hearts, and to weep unto the Lord not only for our selves and our families, but to stand in the gap for others, and to stand firm in the true gospel message of Christ.  The Lord has been stilling me, having me pause and slow th...

  As I settled back into my routine here at home, it was easy to get discouraged. It was easy to focus on work, the final papers I have due, the dogs, the house, and the kids. It was easy to forget to prioritize time with the Lord. It was easy to let an entire week of living on mission for Jesus slip into my long term memory bank, as my mind began to think of all the "what's next" things that I need to take care of now that I'm back.  I was praying to the Lord about returning to the world and what He wanted that to look like. He spoke a simple reminder to my spirit "It's not a return to the world, Ash. It's a return to sender." With this being my 4th trip, I've noticed that during missions you're never really prepared for what going home from mission looks and feels like. Sometimes it can feel like anger at our own entitlement. We don't realize how spoiled we are as Americans with our clean running water, our silverware and our thermostat...

It's amazing the way the Lord puts everything in order, in His timing and in His way. He connects His kingdom so He may be Glorified in the body of Christ. This past weekend in Philadelphia I fell in love with the area in a way I hadn't experienced locally here in Pittsburgh. Not that the need and desire to minister in this area isn't here, but something about it felt like a piece of the prophetic kingdom puzzle was coming together. Taking ministry trips with Regis has become one of my favorite things to do. I am truly blessed. (Insert praise break video from the other day LOL) The atmosphere there was so honoring, welcoming, and passionate. Apostles Terry and Camina Davis are not only passionate for Christ but passionate for advancing the kingdom, passionate for raising disciples, and passionate for wanting to save as many souls as they can, all while serving their local community faithfully in Jesus name. They are truly cornerstones of Philadelphia.  We split into teams a...

  "It's time to make your trumpets, Ash" the Lord spoke as He led me to Numbers 10. "It's time to MAKE your trumpets" I heard again, with the significance of the word make burning in my spirit. We see in this chapter, Moses being given instructions on how to make two silver trumpets. He is told to make them of hammered work. By hand. He can't just go and buy some. They needed to be made of a specific material, silver, which represents in short, redemption and paying off a ransom, or redemptive works in general. They had to make a certain sound. A sound that is distinct and different from all others. A sound set apart by the Lord, that He Himself will hear. To summon the congregation, they both had to be blown together, working as a team, in unison; following the direction of the Lord. They will be used to alert the congregation, not only to gather together, but also for warfare and to know when it's time to move, and how to do so effectively. To make...

    This morning I took time to spend with the Lord. It was brief before worship and prayer, but it was humbling, reassuring and comforting. The Lord showed me raging rapids. The type of river that you wouldn’t dare cross.    I saw myself jumping from the shore onto the first rock. My balance was slipping, I was unsure of my foothold. Like a baby giraffe my legs were unsteady. I wasn’t sure how I’d get to the other side. May times in life we see the challenges, we see the other side, but we have no idea how to get there. We see the rapids, the rushing waves and we freeze in fear.   I felt so afraid. I couldn’t get to the next rock without jumping. It looked slippery, it looked too far away and it looked so small compared to the rising waters around it. I hear the Lord say “Jump” so I jumped. Once again my foothold nearly slipped, my balance was shaky and I almost fell in. “Jump Ash!” I hesitated less this time around, I didn’t take as much of a pause running thr...

Last night during the service we attended, the Lord led me to Ezekiel 33. As I opened my Bible app, He highlighted Ezekiel 33:3-9. As I read those words, and that truth hit my heart, the weight of those words flooded my spirit in a way that I am finding it difficult to bring justice to with mere words. As I finished those scriptures, I heard the Lord speak clearly “Who’s blood is on your hands, Ash?”  With those words from the Lord, my heart sank. Do we really understand the magnitude of the assignment that we have been given? Do we understand the urgency of the commission? My heart was breaking, I felt the weight of the Lord’s heart for his children. Every single one of them. As I’m struggling to hold back tears, my hands began to feel warm and wet, as I looked down I saw blood being spilled all over my hands. I couldn’t shake it off, I couldn’t wipe it off on my pants, I couldn’t get it to stop, it kept coming, dripping from my fingertips onto the floor. I looked down and saw blo...

  Do you ever have one of those conversations with the Lord that puts you in your place in the snap of a finger? It usually happens when I cry out to Him in frustration. When I ignore the prompts of the Lord and get settled into the busy chaos I call life. I've needed to blog for about a week now, putting it off, thinking of every excuse in the book to do something else. Not because what the Lord has to say isn't important enough to write about, but because digging into it hurts, because healing is revealing and because I'm almost embarrassed at the fits my flesh decides to throw on occasion.   So to set the scene, I'm in the kitchen with worship music playing, crying again because I am frustrated, I'm tired, now I'm cold, the dogs have the floors a mess, and I stand there looking around like why, how, what? Now don't get me wrong, I am enjoying my life, but the Lord is using this season of marriage and blending to strip away everything my flesh has called c...

I heard the Lord say “It’s time to build”. Many of us across the body of Christ have had the same stirring in the spirit. Some are building ministries, some building kingdom business, some are building kingdom families and all are building foundations for Christ centered lives.  Then I heard the Lord warn sternly that unless He builds the house we Labor in vain.  Imagine building a new house. You scope out the property, you hire custom builders, and subcontractors and you watch them get to work.  Now imagine as soon as that first brick is laid for the foundation some jerk coming and kicking it out of the way. Imagine as soon as you try to frame up those 2x4’s for the walls and you’re pulling the trigger on the nail gun that someone slaps it clean out of your hands.  Imagine putting in a window and as your leveling it up, someone coming along and pushing it out of the frame sending it crashing to the ground below.  That’s how much the enemy doesn’t want you to bu...

  The Holy Spirit has this amazing way of shaking the ground I stand on. Not as much in a literal sense but in the sense that nothing in this physical life is stable. Everything we cling to will fade away, unless we cling to the hem of His garment. As we were talking during breakfast this morning, I felt the Lord say “Do you trust me?”  In that one simple sentence I was thrown into the middle of the ocean.  You know that feeling, the feeling you get when you can’t touch the bottom? When fear takes a grip of your heart and no matter how much you try to scramble to catch a breath all you feel is the water splashing over your face as your arms keep reaching to find shore?  “What are you looking for, Ash?” I felt this panic in my spirit, what was I looking for? What was I reaching for? My arms were frantically reaching out in every direction, grasping for security. Grasping for the world, grasping for safety. Grasping for the comfort of my flesh.  I heard the Lord a...