Skip to main content

195. Do you trust me?

 

The Holy Spirit has this amazing way of shaking the ground I stand on. Not as much in a literal sense but in the sense that nothing in this physical life is stable. Everything we cling to will fade away, unless we cling to the hem of His garment. As we were talking during breakfast this morning, I felt the Lord say “Do you trust me?”  In that one simple sentence I was thrown into the middle of the ocean. 

You know that feeling, the feeling you get when you can’t touch the bottom? When fear takes a grip of your heart and no matter how much you try to scramble to catch a breath all you feel is the water splashing over your face as your arms keep reaching to find shore? 

“What are you looking for, Ash?” I felt this panic in my spirit, what was I looking for? What was I reaching for? My arms were frantically reaching out in every direction, grasping for security. Grasping for the world, grasping for safety. Grasping for the comfort of my flesh. 

I heard the Lord again, “Do you trust me, Ash?” 

In that moment I realized I hadn’t. 

Sure, I trust him with my salvation, with my kids, with the big stuff. The stuff that’s easy to hand over to him. But I wasn’t trusting Him with the every day details of my life. I trusted Him with all the things that I couldn't control but everything I could control, I would. 

I realized that every time I get insecure or begin to doubt I throw myself into self preservation mode. I reach for some type of security or coping technique. My default should be to sit at the feet of Jesus, but more often than not, I find myself trying to fix things. Trying to have a back up plan, trying to make sure that if and when things go wrong that I have a plan to fix it and that I’ll be ok.

Then the Lord hit me like a ton of bricks. “You need to tell your husband that you trust him, Ash.”  Woah, woah, woah Lord, I thought the this was about trusting you? “It is” 

Then Lord put on my heart that I do trust Him, at times. I trust my relationship with Him, I trust Him enough to be obedient to Him, but I wasn’t trusting Him in my husband. I was looking at the physical life, the things I couldn’t control and I was saying Lord help me fix this. I wasn’t saying Lord I trust you. 

With that revelation, I repented, and I gave up. I gave up control of everything. In my vision, in the middle of the ocean, I closed my eyes, my arms stopped flailing, and I sank. That’s where I found peace. A peace like I’ve never felt before. 

“Death to the flesh, Ash. Remember that?” It made me giggle reminding me of my earlier experiences with Lord. He used to tell that to me often, but He was right. There was no peace gasping for air with my arms frantically reaching for anything this world had to offer for comfort. There was only peace in the surrender of letting go.

What are you grasping for?

When the Lord takes you deep, it takes a death. A death to the needs of this world. A death to the cares of this world. A death to the need to control. In this death there is a peace that surpasses understanding and it’s found in full surrender. 

What do you need to surrender?

Tonight before bed I took Regis’s hands, I looked him in the eyes and I told him I trusted him. Not only in the physical, but in the spiritual. I trust that he hears from the Lord. I trust him with my heart. I trust him with my future and I trust him with my kids. I trust that our hearts, our physical bodies and our spirits are safe with him. Not because of who he is or how he treats us (those are bonuses) but because I trust the Lord in him. I trust the Lord working through him and I trust what the Lord spoke to me about him from the moment that we met. 

It’s not easy to trust, especially when you’ve been hurt over and over again. I feel so strongly that the Lord calling us to this place of full surrender. He’s saying it’s time to let go. It’s time to trust.

Hebrews 11:6 - But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing shall be impossible.

1 Corinthians 2:5 - That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Psalms 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. 4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Psalms 13:5 - But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.

Psalms 40:4 - Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.

Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

James 4:10 - Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Proverbs 23:26 - My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

Psalms 50:15 - And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

Galatians 2:20 - I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Mark 8: 34 And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 35 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

258. Is Jesus Enough?

Is Jesus enough for you? What if we never arrive? What if like Moses you wander in the desert for years only to have the Joshua generation be the one to enter the promised land? The land that was originally promised to Abraham 42 generations prior. 42 generations it took to fulfill that promise.  What if you’re generation 37, or 16, or 5 or 41. What if your family is this close to the breakthrough of the promised land that you’ve been praying for, and you give up now? What if you take the bait of the enemy and quit before you reach the finish line? Or worse yet, you give up, erase the efforts of every generation before you, and your kids or grandkids never meet Jesus at all.  This is your reminder…don’t fall for it. Same evil tactics different worldly package. All designed to kill, steal and destroy.  Satan doesn’t have to take your life if he can take your peace, wrap you in groundhog’s days, and have you spread that woe is me, lack of joy under a “Christian” label, like...
Post a Comment
Read more

240. Back together again

  You know, it's hard when you're growing and walking things out in this life. We look at the world and we point out what's wrong, or what needs changed but we don't realize that the change within us is the most important change needed of all.  The Lord took me to a hallway today. The rooms were all white. In the first room I saw myself about 5 years old. I had crayons and paint and I was dancing to music, painting and coloring these beautiful pictures on the walls. I was praising the Lord and singing as loud as I could. In the second room I was a teenager. I was sitting at a desk. I had colored pencils lined up distinctly in a row, sorted by color. I was coloring on a piece of white paper making a neat picture of a hillside. On top of the hill sat a small white church with a view of the sunset. I had head phones on, jamming out the inside while my composure was quiet and still. In the third room I was in my 20's. I was seated at a dining table. I had a canvas and p...
Post a Comment
Read more

120. Don’t get Distracted by the Shiny Things

I was listening to a bethel podcast this morning and I was blessed with a vision of a brick road. I’ll get to that in a bit but first I’ll brief you on the podcast. (link in the comments) The podcast had referenced the difference in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd heavens. It focused on making sure that we understand that we can view and discern all three realms. We are not meant to see only this one dimension. It was an eye opening teaching about making sure you ascend into the third heaven, seated with our Heavenly Father in order to find the right direction needed to conquer the battles in the other realms. That happens in prayer, if you let it. The three realms are this natural world (1st heaven), the spiritual warfare realm where the demonic dwells (2nd heaven), and the Lords kingdom (3rd heaven) where the enemy and all demonic forces have lost all authority have have zero power. I’ll have to learn more on all of that before I can actually elaborate in teaching, but I’ll tell you how this vi...
Post a Comment
Read more