From the Muck to the Mighty; My Journey with Jesus

  It's been a busy few months. The Lord has been speaking to me often about setting boundaries, taking my thoughts captive and breaking down barriers that I have spent years building up. When I first experienced deliverance in 2019, the freedom I felt was undeniable. I didn't care what I sounded like, I just wanted everyone to experience the Lord. I wanted supernatural encounters, increased freedom and visions to rain down from the heavens like confetti or glitter getting all over everyone. I felt like the woman at the well, dropping everything to run back to town and tell everyone about the Lord who knew everything about me, who delivered me, and who healed not only my body numerous times but also awakened my spirit like never before. Somewhere between there and here, I began to lose that passion. I started to wonder what people would think, I began holding things back and the Lord is reminding me that my words have weight for the kingdom of Heaven. I have always been open abo...

Testimony time!!! (I have no voice so I can’t do a video) Two months ago I was told that my acl was completely torn in my left knee along with a tear in my meniscus. The doctor said I’d need knee surgery but I could wait till July but not to be a hero. Today I walked all around Myrtle Beach doing street ministry for about 5 hours or so. No knee pain. No aches. Just another testimony of the healing that the Lord can do. He amazes me at every step.  I woke up today with no voice. Out of nowhere I couldn’t even talk. The Lord knew I had street ministry lined up today and I was admittedly discouraged. I thought about cancelling and then I thought, nope that’s what the enemy wants. So I set out to meet Pastor Dave and Kelly as they picked me up. We met with another group that frequently does street ministry in the area. Wagons were loaded up with portable music, literature, chicken sandwiches, water, pop, toiletries and all the goodies. The kicker for me was the hot coffee with cream an...

  Last night I was honored to attend a Bible study with PdnKelly Myrtlebeach Biblebank where a close group gathered with food, fellowship and a dive into Revelation 10. Afterwards we were led to have a time of prayer that the Lord orchestrated to His will. It was so refreshing to see this small group making such a large impact on the men and women that are involved.  As I was on my way home I was praying and thanking the Lord for using me the way he does. I was giving Him the glory of this trip and pouring my heart out to Him in thankfulness, worship and praise. As I was praying He showed me a vision of a piano and a woman sitting there playing. Some of the keys were out of tune so she was playing beautifully around them. Her fingers dancing around the broken keys to avoid the harsh out of tune sounds that would make you cringe a little when you heard them. Some keys that were slightly off, she would still play here and there, it wasn’t obvious that the melody was interrupted,...

  There is a call from the Lord to come higher, to go deeper and to let go of the things of this world. To take up our cross and follow Him, wholeheartedly, passionately and with a spirit so on fire it can’t help but ignite other matches along the way. Today’s Christianity is far from that of the Acts church years ago. As we approach Pentecost this weekend, I can’t help but feel the heart cry of the Lord to relive the church of Acts. For the body of Christ to rise up and come together as one. For the gifts of the Spirit to flow freely through the congregations all over the world. Jesus laid down His life for us to have the Holy Spirit. For us to go from under the law to into relationship. For the comforter, the Spirit of Truth, to guide us in all things. John 14:26 - But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 16:13 - Howbeit when he...

  I love spending time in worship and prayer. They are two of my favorite ways to spend time with the Lord, behind time reading the word. Tonight as we were worshipping I felt the urge to fall apart at His feet on more than one occasion. I am in awe of His presence. I am in wonder at the way He orchestrates everything. Tonight during worship I heard the Lord speak clearly. It’s time for the mouthpiece of the body to rise up, Ash. My people aren’t speaking, their tongues are bound. It was a conviction I recieved and had to repent of myself before I could write this out. I’ve been withdrawn and spending time with Him in private but I’ve also been doing fewer videos and blogging a lot less lately. Not because He isn’t speaking, giving me visions, or moving in my life, but because I have been putting bandaids on an old wound and expecting it to heal.  I’m extremely uncomfortable with what the Lord has me doing with this ministry that He’s given me. I don’t get to heal in private. ...

  Sometimes you sit in the secret place and the Lord speaks. Sometimes the Holy Spirit falls on you and wrecks you in your car with no warning as you’re listening to an old school worship CD. Yesterday, on my way home I was overwhelmed by the Goodness of God. I found myself happy and full of joy, the same way I do in retreats or in worship. I pulled the visor down, looked in the mirror and began to cry. I looked in that mirror not knowing who this version of myself was. Where she has been all these years. “Lord, I don’t know this me” and unfamiliar territory can be a scary place even when you know it’s the safest place you’ve ever been.  I was full of a joy and peace that I have never known in my entire life. One not dependent on circumstances or other people but on a Lord that never fails. The Lord that counts our tears. The Lord that loves me, set me free, and instructs me to do the same for others. As I continued to cry these freeing, happy, decades of wound healing tears, ...

  Where are you, Ash? I heard the Lord speak. I got up, not knowing exactly why. I stood there in front of my mirror looking, not knowing what I was looking for. Listening and not hearing anything else. All of a sudden I felt the fire of God consume me, in a way that hasn’t happened to me in a very long time. I felt every part of my flesh burn in this all consuming fire. I felt my skeleton collapse onto a bed of ashes. I hit the floor in a thud like I was stuck inside my skull, every bone of my body beneath me in a disconnected pile. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything. I was just stuck there. It felt like time was standing still but I was stuck in a panic of trying to get my bones back together. Trying to think them together, trying to pray them together. Kind of hard to pray without a jaw and a tongue. It was like I was stuck frozen inside my head with only my thoughts. I was helpless. Helpless on top of a pile of ashes and bones.  Can these bones live, Ash? “Of course t...

“What are you feeding it, Ash?” Feeding what Lord? “What are you feeding it, Ash?” Feeding what Lord? “What are you feeding it, Ash?” the Lord paused. In that pause I was face to face with what seemed like a wall made out of tightly packed rocks and dirt. I quickly realized that it wasn’t a wall at all but a lions den.  My focus shifted to a tiny cub. He was taking his little paw and scooping away the dirt near the entrance, trying to break through to get outside but he couldn’t. It was like he was stuck, the entrance caved in, and he was left to dig his way out on his own. Like a dog digging out from under a fence, with each scoop of his paw the cub would make progress, but more dirt would fall back in around the rocks. His little face was matted. I tried to move the rocks away but they were too heavy. I kept looking around for things to help him dig. All I had in my hand was my Bible.  I tried to use my Bible to break him out as best I could. I tried to use it to move the di...

The Lord has this unique way of driving things home and getting his point across to me, at all costs. Especially the cost of my flesh, my comfort and my wounds. You have to dig things up to clean them out. There are always days when I’d rather jump on that grave and pack the dirt down nice and tight, than to dig up wounds and dust them off even if it is to hand them over to Jesus. Recently I’ve had no choice but to come face to face with the areas I’ve fallen short.  The Lord has been revealing strongholds I need to tear down, wounds I need to heal, and mindsets I need grow up in. Areas where the enemy can still play his broken record in my mind. Areas where the level of truth that I have from the Lord isn’t enough to kick out the memories of my past. Sometimes you think you’re ok, until you aren’t.  My knee was healing great. There was a nice balance with my schedule, the kids, starting school and working. I finally felt like I could get things moving and cleaned out of the h...