It's been a busy few months. The Lord has been speaking to me often about setting boundaries, taking my thoughts captive and breaking down barriers that I have spent years building up. When I first experienced deliverance in 2019, the freedom I felt was undeniable. I didn't care what I sounded like, I just wanted everyone to experience the Lord. I wanted supernatural encounters, increased freedom and visions to rain down from the heavens like confetti or glitter getting all over everyone. I felt like the woman at the well, dropping everything to run back to town and tell everyone about the Lord who knew everything about me, who delivered me, and who healed not only my body numerous times but also awakened my spirit like never before.
Somewhere between there and here, I began to lose that passion. I started to wonder what people would think, I began holding things back and the Lord is reminding me that my words have weight for the kingdom of Heaven. I have always been open about my life, about my journey with the Lord and about the things He speaks to me. Today He's reminding me that telling my story is in itself, a healing journey. One that can help others. One that paves the way for the Lord to work in the lives and hearts of many other people.
At the beginning of the year, I felt the Lord telling me not to make plans in June. That it would be a month of being grounded in a sense. A month for my children, a month to grow and a month to heal. In January, I had no idea what He meant. As June has wrapped up, I know exactly what He meant.
When the pipe burst in my house last December, I was face to face with a mold issue. It explained why Nash and I kept getting sick. I was uprooted and found myself back in a place that I had prayed my way out of many times before. It was challenging, and although I am forever thankful and grateful for Leah's dad, my prayers went from Lord help me, to Lord show me your truth about this situation. I prayed for 4 months, Lord show me your will. Speak to me about my house, about the direction you want me to go. The Lord was quiet. He would often remind me of the same thing He told me a few years ago. "Go North Ash" but that was it. No visions, no thundering voice from Heaven. Just a simple "Go North" and a frustrated Ash wanting a little more to go on than that.
I would hear the Lord speak that simple sentence in my spirit, and my mind would immediately go to Pastor Harry reminding me that "Uniontown is North of you Ash". I fought him many times on that statement. He would remind me every now and then and I would come back at him with Mark 6:4 "A Prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house" I honestly wanted nothing more than to get out of Uniontown all together, but the Lord has His plan and I am His servant. To this day, Uniontown remains my assignment, He hasn't released me, I had to repent for my words and my thoughts toward this area. Uniontown is the "Go North" that I have been hearing for the past few years. Now I know why.
April rolled around and I attended the weekend retreat at Camp Allegheny that was held by Kevin and Amy Riordan with Set Free Ministries. I kept crying out to the Lord to show me direction while I was there. He waited until worship that last morning and spoke a very clear statement that struck me to my core. "If you stay where you are, it will be lukewarm forever". I know what lukewarm gets you in scripture and the last thing I want is to see the Lord on that day, only to be spit out and sent away from Him. Many people talk about the Love the Lord gives us, about His Grace, His Mercy, His forgiveness, but few talk about the Fear of the Lord and the respect that He deserves. What place does He hold in my heart? Is He only my Savior or do I see Him as the true Lord of my life. What place does He hold in yours?
I repented for staying in a place where I was stuck, not only physically but spiritually and emotionally. At that retreat I rededicated my entire life to the Lord and His plan for me. I repented for trying to take control, I repented for relationships that were outside of His will, I repented for letting emotions, people, and even other ministers influence the way I walked my calling out. I repented for everything that I could possibly think of and then I repented for not being able to think of anything else to repent of. I returned to a place of full surrender. A place that I had been to before but slowly worked my way back out of. A place that I never want to leave again.
Little did I know, the very next Sunday, the first one in May, would change my life forever.
The Lord may be speaking something to you, something you don't understand yet. Something that you need to walk out, wait for and pray into to bring it forth. Keep praying. Keep seeking, even in the quiet. He has a plan. There are so many aspects of the Lord's plan for your life that you have no idea are even happening behind the scenes. Trust the process. Trust Him. Even in the waiting, in the frustration, in the quiet; trust He knows better than you do. Trust that He will speak to you about your life before others will. Trust that the Lord will bring confirmation and not confusion. If you feel confused, torn or double minded, I can assure you that you are on the wrong track, even if you feel it's the right one.
Most importantly, trust your assignment. The Lord needs you there. He needs you right where you are in this moment. The future will fall into place, but I implore you, do not wish today away in the hopes that tomorrow will be better. There is a purpose for today. There are pieces coming together. There is a plan.
Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Ephesians 2:10 - For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Jeremiah 1:5 - Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
1 John 5:4 - For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.
Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Romans 15:13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Psalms 112:7 He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.
Psalm 138 I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;
before the gods I sing your praise;
2 I bow down toward your holy temple
and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.
3 On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased.
4 All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord,
for they have heard the words of your mouth,
5 and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord,
for great is the glory of the Lord.
6 For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly,
but the haughty he knows from afar.
7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,
and your right hand delivers me.
8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.
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