Sometimes you sit in the secret place and the Lord speaks. Sometimes the Holy Spirit falls on you and wrecks you in your car with no warning as you’re listening to an old school worship CD. Yesterday, on my way home I was overwhelmed by the Goodness of God. I found myself happy and full of joy, the same way I do in retreats or in worship. I pulled the visor down, looked in the mirror and began to cry. I looked in that mirror not knowing who this version of myself was. Where she has been all these years. “Lord, I don’t know this me” and unfamiliar territory can be a scary place even when you know it’s the safest place you’ve ever been.
I was full of a joy and peace that I have never known in my entire life. One not dependent on circumstances or other people but on a Lord that never fails. The Lord that counts our tears. The Lord that loves me, set me free, and instructs me to do the same for others. As I continued to cry these freeing, happy, decades of wound healing tears, I was thanking the Lord for what He’s been doing in me life. What he’s shown me in such a short period of time, not only about myself, my children and my ministry but about unconditional love and what that really looks like. What it can be like when the Lord is the center of everything. I cried for what felt like ages, tears of joy, tears of freedom, tears of submission. Until Nash said “Mommy settle down!” from the back seat. Then I cried because he noticed my tears and I’m so thankful for his heart and for both of my children.
As I poured out everything I had, Jesus took me to a vision of being at his feet. He was seated in a wooden chair. I was kneeling at His feet, in a kitchen that had a dirt floor. It reminded me of Mary and Martha from the Bible. As I continued weeping at his feet, I poured out everything I had. I began to notice the floor around him changing color as a puddle formed at the legs of his chair. That was all I had, every bit of me poured out making such a small puddle. As I laid my head on His feet, weeping, I felt His hand raise above me. He held it out over my head in this calming but authoritative way. In that split second of a moment, it was like the Heavens had opened and I saw a flood of golden oil pouring down over me. The Love of the Father consuming every part of me. Flooding the room, the house, and pouring out into the streets. It took over every one of my senses, totally engrossing every part of me; spirit, soul, body, mind, will, emotions.
I don’t think we realize how our small sacrifices can be turned into such large rewards from the Father. He doesn’t give to us based on what we can give Him, but what we are willing to give Him. What do you need to surrender? All our worldly love in this flesh is a small puddle in comparison to the outpouring of love that the Father wants to show each and every one of us.
It’s time to lay it at His feet, to pour it all out and to surrender to His will for our lives. I can assure you that His plans are so much better than anything we can come up with on our own.
Thank you Jesus for welcoming me at your feet. It’s forever my favorite place to be.
Hebrews 1:9 - Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.
Joel 2:28 And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions
Joel 2:32 And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered: for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as the Lord hath said, and in the remnant whom the Lord shall call.
Mark 6:13 And they cast out many devils, and anointed with oil many that were sick, and healed them.
1 John 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.
Luke 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
John 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Hebrews 13:15 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.
1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.
Isaiah 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
1 John 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
1 John 4:8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
1 John 3:1 Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.
John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Ephesians 3:19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Luke 10:38-42 38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. 40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. 41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: 42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
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