From the Muck to the Mighty; My Journey with Jesus

  Seems like you stuck your finger in a hornets nest, Eh Ash? One I had no idea was even there Lord. Reminds you of something Ash? A little. Mostly reminds me about how things started a long while ago and it hurts my heart Lord. It hurts my heart for the body. It hurts my heart for a lot of people caught in a lot of things that they don't realize they are caught in. Like the hand punching the foot Ash. Everyone is in their process. I remember coming into a group of friends early on in ministry. Everyone had their niche, everyone complimented one another. It was good, until it wasn't. I remember being in meetings, or worship events and this one close friend would "confide" in me and others about other people in attendance. She made it seem like she had extra intel, or that she had this spiritual superiority. She would say that the holy spirit told her this or that or that. She would point out the way a person prayed, walked, danced, or flagged and say that it was witch...

  They care Ash. I know Lord. Funny thing is what caring really looks like, eh? Fair enough Lord, fair enough. My flesh wants to rise up, to say a whole lot about a whole lot, but Jesus is my redeemer. He will fight my battles. But I also have a blog so I’m gonna keep giving this keyboard a tapity tap tap. 😂 I’ve heard the words I love you a lot over the years. The Christian community says it frequently. They call it the love of the Lord. I’ve had a lot of people voicing concerns over the last week and a half. A lot of people have a lot to say in the guise of love, concern and prayer requests. While my flesh wants to remind people to take a look at the phone calls, messages and in person conversations you have had with me over the last few years and to place your opinions and advice in an according place…. Jesus reminds me to step back and let His blood and time paint the picture.  The Christian folks love those whitewashed tombs.  No one was concerned when I was crying ...

  As I settle in to the things that are set before me, I want to pull back. I want to hide. I want to run. I want to shut it all down and hit delete and drift into a quiet family life, and I am again reminded that my life is not my own but it’s designed to glorify the Lord.  There are days I fail, there are days I succeed, but I gave Jesus my yes years ago and I have to stand on it. Regardless of how it looks in this realm, regardless of what people think, there is a greater battle behind the scenes that I am sent to fight. Like someone quietly disarming a bomb in the subway during a city event that could go off destroying a massive crowd. Many will have no idea that the one significant person cutting the right wire at the right time is the reason they get to walk home unscathed.  Intercessors this is how we fight our battles.  I had to count the cost regardless of how it looks. I had to be willing to lose everything and everyone because if I don’t, more people will ...

  You know, it's hard when you're growing and walking things out in this life. We look at the world and we point out what's wrong, or what needs changed but we don't realize that the change within us is the most important change needed of all.  The Lord took me to a hallway today. The rooms were all white. In the first room I saw myself about 5 years old. I had crayons and paint and I was dancing to music, painting and coloring these beautiful pictures on the walls. I was praising the Lord and singing as loud as I could. In the second room I was a teenager. I was sitting at a desk. I had colored pencils lined up distinctly in a row, sorted by color. I was coloring on a piece of white paper making a neat picture of a hillside. On top of the hill sat a small white church with a view of the sunset. I had head phones on, jamming out the inside while my composure was quiet and still. In the third room I was in my 20's. I was seated at a dining table. I had a canvas and p...

Hey Ash…. You wanna talk about it?  I’d rather not Lord to be honest. But they’re watching Ash. The people Ash. MY people Ash. The people that I died for. The people that know my name but don’t experience my presence. The people that experience my presence but don’t truly know my heart.  The people that watch the world but don’t obey my Word. The people that obey my Word but refuse my Spirit. The people that are like you, and the people that are not like you. The people that look up to you and the people that look down on you. The people that make mistakes, the people that repent, and the people that don’t. The people that love you, the people that hate you, and everyone else in between. The people that grow and the people that refuse to. The rich man and the beggar. The Jew and the Gentile. The ones holding the stones. Get up for them. I need you to.   Lord I can’t. Jesus, I don’t want to go back out there.  Your life is not your own. You promised.  (And that’s...

  As we were boarding the plane today, I took a seat at the window and waited for take off. During the take off instructions the flight attendants were explaining the safety rules and emergency procedures.  I heard a man a few seats back say to his wife not to worry because he had an extra flotation device in his carry on, incase anything happens.  In that instant, in the Spirit, I felt the plane drop. I heard the screams and felt the panic rising up and taking over the cabin. I saw the people and the fear in their faces. There was nothing they could do.  I stood still, in peace, as the chaos swarmed around me. Do these people know the Lord? That question thundering in my mind with a power and force stronger than the thundering of Niagara Falls.  Do these people KNOW Jesus?  If they say they do, why are they panicking?  I saw that man standing up, geared up in the natural with everything known to man that could possibly save him and his family in this ...

  We say the gospel is worth dying for, but is it worth chewing your leg off for while you’re still alive? Today during worship, the Lord showed me hundreds of thousands of mice and rats stuck in glue traps, worshipping the Lord.  Their heads and mouths were open singing but their feet were stuck to the traps holding them hostage, keeping them caught in one place, and ultimately leading to their deaths.  I saw a line of rogue mice and rats standing to the side. Some missing a leg, some missing an eye, some an ear or even some teeth. They were walking freely, burdened by the sights or their brothers and sisters. They looked rough, they knew what it was like to be in that place and they know what it takes to get out of that trap. They knew true freedom.  Then I saw them get to action. Going individually to these mice and rats helping chew them free. Helping them get through that pain, that agony, and get to freedom. Helping them get to the sidelines and get to a place ...

The air was cold and damp as I struggled to catch my breath. It felt like I had been running for hours. Running through the dense trees, through the wilderness. Running in a panic, exerting every effort to get away and to get to. Away from what, I’m not sure, ask Lots wife; but running to the promised land with everything I’ve got.  Running with this deep knowing inside of me to go, and this overwhelming fear of dying on the vine where I have always been. Running with this need to be free, to feel the wind in my hair and the grass under my feet. Running with a dream of dancing in the rain. Running with this intense desire to do something, but not knowing exactly what that something is. This burning deep desire rooted in Jesus, drawn by His Spirit, that will not be quenched. Lord where you go I will go. My eyes panned down to my hands, and it startled me to see they were completely covered in blood. I looked up again to realize that I was now standing still, stopped dead in my track...