From the Muck to the Mighty; My Journey with Jesus

I saw Jesus in my dining room the other day. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Him so close like that, and it always makes me laugh while it catches me off guard. I was worshiping and washing clothes, minding my own business. Quietly I heard his voice call out, “Will you let me cut those grave clothes? Ash?” I carried the basket of laundry into the dining room and I walked right into an open vision. He always meets me in this valley. I’ve seen it what seems like a hundred times. It’s quiet and sunny, with a slight breeze that smells like laundry hanging outside on the line. The grass is tall, rustling with the wind and there are spring flowers in different colors that brigten up the atmosphere. In the distance I can see the river flowing down off the mountain. The water appears ice cold and the mountains look like it would take decades to climb them. As I stepped toward the Lord, I saw this galvanized oval, almost round, but not quite, wash basin in front of me. It was filled just unde...

There’s something about encountering the Love of God that changes you. It shifts your outlook and can transform things in an instant. It washes over you, it welcomes you, it cleanses you, it refines you, it molds you, it prunes you, it breaks you free from this world and it’s cares. It challenges you to let go of your fleshy desires, your internal judgements, and your preconceived notions regarding people, religion, church and the kingdom of God. It shifts you from walking in this dry boring religious cycle to entering into a covenant relationship with Jesus.  Have you asked Him to know and experience His love? Have you listened enough for Him to be able to speak to you? Have you fasted and prayed? Are you spending time reading the word?  You can answer “no” to all four of those questions and it wouldn’t stop the Lord from Loving you. He knew exactly what He was getting when He designed you. He knew your struggles, your shortcomings. He knew where you’d succeed and where you’d...

  The Lord has been showing me the same dream/vision for the last six months. The first time He spoke to me about it, I didn’t want to hear it. It was like a map and Him showing me you are here. Me looking at Him like He was crazy and throwing a “nope you gotta be kidding me” look right back at Him. “Hang on Ash” He’d say and we’d begin walking. I’d begin to see a river flowing through a valley as we walked. The landscape was green but rocky at the same time. The temperature was warm and crisp. A combination of the sun shining in your skin and the cool mountain air blowing across your face, swirling your hair and making it difficult to see. The grass felt amazing on my bare feet. It was an easy walk or so it started out as.  As we followed against the river from the valley into the mountain the terrain began to change. Gradually the steps were getting bigger, harder to take. The ground was rocky, and I could feel the stones cutting into my feet as we walked. He never left my s...

We all have those times in life where everything seems so chaotic, I know the last few months have felt that way for me. It seemed like one thing after the next. From the death of my father, to traveling to Puerto Rico, to quarantining without pay, to Nash getting sick, then I got sick, my car transmission needed replaced and the part was going to take weeks, the strangeness of going through some of my dads things, oh and my bathroom flooded right before Christmas and my new car got a nail in the tire, I ended up sick again. Now I’m in this strange homeless state of going back and forth due to my bathroom and mold under the floor from the pipe busting. I’m probably the most out of my comfort zone that I’ve ever been and I go and partner with the Lord and we decide that nows the time to tackle sugar and caffeine addiction so all of that is making my flesh feel fantastic. Note the sarcasm in that last word please. Happy New Year Ya’ll!  As I was praying and going over a thousand thin...

  Surrender. The word for 2022. The word the Lord spoke that shot through my body like lightening. The word that cuts the flesh. When asking the Lord for a word for the new year, I was expecting something exciting and courageous. Something full of fire and boldness like conquer, slay, deliver, or freedom. Luckily the Lord knows what I need far better than I do. He always has. Surrender. My word for 2022.  Surrender isn't something that comes easy for me. I have a tendency to want to control, to want to rush and I have the vision that loves to see the end result without wanting to go through the process to get there. Surrender, I say through my clenched, grinding teeth. I will fully surrender. I trust you Lord, far more than I trust myself.  That lesson was learned again on Sunday as Pastor Harry asked me to be a part of the last message of 2021. To pray for breakthrough over the congregation to close out the year. I had a few days notice, giving me just enough time to pre...

  It's been a long time since I've opened this blog to write. Too long (about 2 months to be exact). I find myself sitting here staring at a blank screen, wondering what to say. Wondering who will care to read this blog again, while also enjoying the freedom of not worrying if anyone does. Between the sudden death of my father in September, the mission trip to Puerto Rico in October, the urgent unwelcome need to purchase a new vehicle, helping with a weekend retreat in November and coming home to battle sickness in my household with the kids; my last few months seem to be a blur of chaos, emotions and fleshy temptations to fall back into old thought patters. Patters of anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, temptation to murmur and complain, thoughts of "what if" and "if only" trying to creep back into my mind and in all honesty I've struggled these last few weeks to walk in the authority of Christ. I've struggled, but I have not failed.  That's the be...

  As I was listening to the message last night in Brookville, he spoke about the group of people that we’re called to. That made me think for a moment. Who am I called to? Some minister to those in prison, some minister to the addicted, some minister to children, to the homeless or to the helpless. As I prayed about it, I kept hearing the words lukewarm. I love evangelism, I am gifted well in deliverance and healing. Those things all work together in the way the Lord intends them to for my purpose. To bring others closer to Him. Yet to think of nailing down a calling on my life and what that looks like, I can’t help but feel that I’m called to shake up the church. To ignite the lukewarm christians and set them ablaze with the passion they have been missing all along.  The other night as I was driving it was like the world faded away for a moment. I saw the yellow line in the road covered with people, miles long. On each side of the line, there were people miles and miles deep....

  You know how you just never think that you’ll be that girl. The girl that has a hard time getting alone with the Lord. The girl who spends more time in the Dunkin or Starbucks drive thru than she does reading the word. The one who can’t connect to the Lord in an instant so she gets distracted and forgets all about it. Especially after everything I’ve been through these past few years, I never thought I’d be that girl.  Yet here I am, at 11pm on a Saturday night praying to hear His voice. Praying that I’ll feel that tangible touch from the Lord and wondering what I’ve done to plug my ears so He sounds muffled and far away. Then He speaks and speaks clearly in a way that some would say is harsh. So I pass it on, because I write these blogs to share my heart, my thoughts, and to preach just as much to myself as I do to anyone else who will listen. He’s hard with me because I need Him to be. Sometimes I wonder if He preaches to me through me because it’s the only way I’d listen....

  I'm not one to shout warfare all the time, but these last few weeks have been the most interesting I've experienced in a while. I've been having dreams at a rate more frequently than normal for me. Usually, I'm a vision person. I'll see or experience things as I am awake. Lately it's been more dreams, more quiet revelation in the word and more shaking. The Lord is really shaking me up these last few days, to a point that has made me very uncomfortable with where I am in life. There is a shaking going on, and things are falling away.  In this dream, I was in a large church. It was worn down but beautiful. It reminded me of an old high school auditorium. I was lining up chairs in the front row on the left side facing the stage. The chairs were spread apart and out of order. One by one, I lined them up and connected them together. There was one chair that was set to the side. It was in the isle and had not been used in a very long time. One of the legs was bent, ...

The Lord spoke strongly to me today “Stop putting on dirty clothes, Ash” as I was getting out of the shower and wanted to grab my cozy t shirt. I had just worn it for a bit and taken off to shower. It wasn’t filthy, I hadn’t worn it for long but those words felt convicting. So I grabbed my towel, tossed that shirt in the wash and went to put something new on.  Then the Lord put it on my heart that putting on dirty clothes is exactly what many of us do every day. We go to church, we worship, we pray, we may even go up to the altar call and lay down on our faces before the Lord. We cry out for revival, for a fresh fire, for His presence and we walk right out of that church and right back into our mess. I know, I did it for years. It’s time to stop.  It’s time to stop the old ways, to stop putting on your dirty clothes. Yes it may seem familiar, comfortable and like it’s fits just right, like it’s worn in just for you; but it’s smelly, it’s stained with the past and the Lord desi...

  There is a call to action detailed in the scriptures that I can't seem to shake from my mind. I truly believe this lack of action we see in today's world, is one of the biggest problems we face. We are in the times of Bible prophecy coming to fulfillment. Look At Matthew 24:32-34 “32 From the fig tree learn its lesson: as soon as its branch becomes tender and puts out its leaves, you know that summer is near. 33 So also, when you see all these things, you know that he is near, at the very gates. 34 Truly, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place.” In Scripture, the fig tree is symbolic of the nation of Israel. I believe the tender branch and leaves coming forth are a reference to Israel’s rebirth and the reacquisition of the city of Jerusalem. Israel became a nation again in 1948, but it did not retake Jerusalem until 1967. So, when it says that the generation that “shall see all these things,” is it talking about the nation’s rebirth...

 I’ve been struggling to write this past week. Struggling to be myself. Struggling to catch my breath. I’ve felt out of my comfort zone quite a bit. I’ve been trying to put my head on straight and trying to take the emotion out of life. To be sensible, make good decisions and stay on the right path. The one the Lord has for me.  Yet every time I take a giant step forward the enemy comes clawing at me trying to drag me back. Trying to cause insecurity to rise up, filing my head with thoughts of doubt. Plaguing my plans with sickness, unexpected costs, and throwing a wrench right into the wheel I had spinning so perfectly, or so I thought. So here I am needing to practice what I preach. Needing to spend more time in the word and less time in the world pondering the what if’s of every decision I’ve ever made. Growth is painful, change is scary, even when you know it’s for the best. You can see the good in the future but it means loosing the comfort of control and the security of ...

  The Lord spoke something very plain to me during the prayer meeting at church last night. "Offense, Ash". I saw a vision of a soccer field with the Lord as the goalie.  I was standing on the field with a team standing in position, but being still. As if they were standing idle waiting for someone to kick them the ball. Across the field, I saw an opposing team handling the ball. I wanted to rush at them, but I felt the urge to stay back with my team. I was confused as to why we were standing still just waiting for the opposition to rush us before we act. I wanted to be in the action. I wanted to move! The funny thing was that they weren't even rushing us or trying to score. They were acting as if we didn't exist. Then I saw a third team that appeared on that far side of the field. All of a sudden there was game play, but we weren't included. The two teams at the end of the field were in an all out brawl, while still acting like we weren't even there. "It...