175. Surrender

 

Surrender. The word for 2022. The word the Lord spoke that shot through my body like lightening. The word that cuts the flesh.

When asking the Lord for a word for the new year, I was expecting something exciting and courageous. Something full of fire and boldness like conquer, slay, deliver, or freedom. Luckily the Lord knows what I need far better than I do. He always has. Surrender. My word for 2022. 

Surrender isn't something that comes easy for me. I have a tendency to want to control, to want to rush and I have the vision that loves to see the end result without wanting to go through the process to get there. Surrender, I say through my clenched, grinding teeth. I will fully surrender. I trust you Lord, far more than I trust myself. 

That lesson was learned again on Sunday as Pastor Harry asked me to be a part of the last message of 2021. To pray for breakthrough over the congregation to close out the year. I had a few days notice, giving me just enough time to prepare. I was praying for the words and for the right scripture, I was racking my brain on what to say or what approach to take. I was worried it wouldn't be received well, and you bet the enemy was all up in my business with Mark 6:4 twisting it to induce fear. I was hearing the enemy loud and clear, and I spent most of my time taking my thoughts captive. All while I struggled to hear anything from the Lord. "Trust me, Ash" I'd hear Him say, all while wasting time and energy fighting the devil, the thoughts of my flesh, and wasting an evening trying to find something relevant enough to say. 

Little did I know that the enemy won that round. That my peace was stolen, that time with my children was stolen, that my frustrations were getting the best of me and stealing my joy. The Lord had opened a perfectly fine door for me, told me to trust Him, and here I was letting my flesh get frustrated. That's how the enemy works. Once you have the discernment to see these little traps, you see the enemy at work in everything. He is relentless and his purpose is to drag you straight to hell one joyless moment at a time. Hindsight is 20/20. 

Sunday morning I wake up, I still have nothing. Nothing but "Trust Me, Ash" as I grab my notebook, bible, pen and head to church alone wondering how it will go. Running my mouth in a blog or on a video is easy. Standing in front of a congregation, no matter how many times I have done it, is not so easy. Pastor Harry begins his message and I could immediately feel the shift in the atmosphere and in my spirit. Breakthrough and blessing, the perfect way to end 2021 and kick off 2022. He calls Terri and I up to help at the end of the message and all I could think of was "I have nothing but I trust you, Lord".  Pastor Harry hands me the microphone and I was a nervous wreck. The Lord led me to Mark 16:15-20. I read the scripture and began to pray. Half the time I had my eyes closed, and the entire time I had zero clue what the next words out of my mouth would be. I felt the presence of the Lord, I went on a Pentecostal Holy Spirit willing vessel rant and then I handed the microphone back to Pastor Harry. I immediately thought two thoughts "Thank you Lord!" and "My stupid flesh". I had wasted all of that time worrying for nothing. The enemy was doing everything in his power to keep me from showing up. To keep me from stepping out. To keep me from being the willing vessel the Lord needed to do His will.

The Lord doesn't need more people striving in the flesh to give a good word. He needs more disciples, more sons and daughters, more warriors rising up to take up their own cross and crucify their own flesh to follow Him. 

My worry was for nothing. Was everything I said perfect, no not by any means at all, but was it what the Lord wanted to speak and do that morning through me, Yes!

My yes is all I have to give. The Lord can't take our presents or money. There is nothing you can give Him that He wants more than your belief, your repentance, your obedience, your time, your heart and your yes. You don't have to clean yourself up, or polish yourself up to be perfect before the Lord will use you for His glory. You simply invite Him to be Lord of your life. You invite the Holy Spirit into your heart to partner with you every step of the way. Casual Sunday morning Christianity is not going to cut it this next season. The Lord is looking for willing surrendered vessels. Be who He is looking for, He designed you for it. 

As I emerge from the ashes of 2021 I will fully embrace the word the Lord has given me for 2022. Not my will, not my flesh, not my ideas or my ministry, but my full surrender as I lay my life at the feet of Jesus and go wherever He takes me, next year and beyond. 

Matthew 16:24-26 Take Up Your Cross and Follow Jesus - 24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Mark 16:15-20 15 And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. 16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.” 19 So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. 20 And they went out and preached everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by accompanying signs.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Proverbs 3:5-8  5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Psalms 50:15 - And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

Romans 12:1-2 A Living Sacrifice 12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. 

James 4:10 - Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Proverbs 23:26 - My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

Luke 21:14-15 14 Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, 15 for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.

Ezekiel 34:12-14 12 As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. 13 And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. 14 I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel.

1 Peter 2:15-17 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.

Ephesians 5:17 - Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Romans 8:15 - For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.