It's been a long time since I've opened this blog to write. Too long (about 2 months to be exact). I find myself sitting here staring at a blank screen, wondering what to say. Wondering who will care to read this blog again, while also enjoying the freedom of not worrying if anyone does. Between the sudden death of my father in September, the mission trip to Puerto Rico in October, the urgent unwelcome need to purchase a new vehicle, helping with a weekend retreat in November and coming home to battle sickness in my household with the kids; my last few months seem to be a blur of chaos, emotions and fleshy temptations to fall back into old thought patters. Patters of anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, temptation to murmur and complain, thoughts of "what if" and "if only" trying to creep back into my mind and in all honesty I've struggled these last few weeks to walk in the authority of Christ. I've struggled, but I have not failed.
That's the beauty of the love of Jesus, you can run from it, but you can't hide from it. If I've learned anything over the last few years, it's that He doesn't move, I do. If you're struggling to hear from the Lord, look at how your time is spent. I can't sit here and complain that I haven't had many visions lately, that the Lord feels so far away or that I can't feel His presence like I could before, if I never try to take time and sit with Him. If my weeks have been so "busy" that I fail to make the time, how is that the Lord being quiet? It's not, it's me being distant.
We tend to put our relationship with the Lord to the side as if He is going to force His way into our lives. Then when He doesn't, we use that as an excuse to stay distant. That's not how it works. He's patiently waiting for us to come and sit at His feet. He's waiting for our hearts to cry out to Him. He is the cornerstone and we need to act like it. He is our safety, our salvation. If you make the time to sit and listen, He will speak to you.
So many of us look to this world for comfort. We look to coffee, alcohol, sex, video games, you tube, tiktok, social media, drugs, music, tv, movies, porn, food, shopping, working, and anything else we can get our hands on to distract us from life. We don't realize that we are contaminating the flow of the Holy Spirit in our lives, if not stopping it all together. All on our own accord.
As I was praying today the Lord began to show me the bank of a river. The river was tucked at the bottom of a hill. The land surrounding me rolled with tall wheat. The golden wheat would bend with the wind, flowing in the direction it was blowing, changing from moment to moment. As I looked down at the river I noticed a backpack there by the water. In this vision I knelt down and began to look for something in this back pack. I'm not sure what I was looking for, but with the river behind me, I began throwing things out of this backpack, over my head and into the river. As I continued doing this, looking for whatever I was looking for, cartoon style with this never ending bottomless backpack, I found that no matter what I grabbed it wasn't "it". Nothing was just right. Item after item, I tossed them over my head and into the river. Slowly the river began to damn up. I wasn't realizing, that in my frantic act of digging and looking for whatever it was that I was looking for, that my own actions were stopping the flow of the river. By the time I turned around, nearly half of the river was blocked all while I still had no idea what I was even looking for to begin with.
I was praying into this vision and what I felt the Lord wanting to convey was the simple fact that distractions stop the flow. Busyness stops the flow. Not spending time with the Lord, seeking His wisdom or spending time in worship or praise stops the flow.
Are you the wheat, standing still in the sunlight, flexibly bending and flowing effortlessly with the Holy Spirit, or are you the girl, frantically looking for something she will never find in her own physical efforts in this world?
Don't stop the flow of the Holy Spirit in your life by looking for comfort in the world. It will be just like that bottomless backpack where the next drink, tv show, pizza, hit, joint, binge, party, hike, vacation, trip, new tech, next promotion, etc. will never be just right. They will never provide the peace, comfort and salvation that we find in Jesus Christ. What they will provide, will be numbing distractions that slowly destroy the flow of the Holy Spirit.
The choice is yours.
Romans 8:5-6 - For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
2 Peter 1:3-11 Confirm Your Calling and Election 3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 4 by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 10 Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. 11 For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
John 14:26 - But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
John 16:13 - Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.
John 15:15 - Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Isaiah 43:2 - When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
John 7:38 - He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
Jeremiah 31:12 - Therefore they shall come and sing in the height of Zion, and shall flow together to the goodness of the LORD, for wheat, and for wine, and for oil, and for the young of the flock and of the herd: and their soul shall be as a watered garden; and they shall not sorrow any more at all.
Matthew 6:7 - But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
Luke 11:9 - And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
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