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223. You CAN relate

 Lord I need to talk this out. I have to figure it out. I have to figure out how to pray for Regis. I have to figure out how to relate to how mad he is at you right now. I need to know how you need me to pray for him right now. I can't relate and I am struggling to keep my fruit and my witness.

Jesus: You don't wanna know, how to relate to this right now.
Me: I need to know.
Holy Spirit to Jesus: She's not going to like it.
Jesus to God:
God to Jesus:
Jesus: You wanna open up that wound. You sure. Right now.
Me: If it helps me relate to this mess and clean it up, yes.
Holy Spirit: You want to relate to his anger with God?
Me: Yes
Holy Spirit: You SURE?
Me: Yes, I can handle it.
Jesus: Ok. You CAN relate.
Me: What are you talking about, I can't.
Jesus: Ok, what made you so mad that you turned your back on me? What had you so big mad that you had tarot cards and wicca books and all the things? What had you so full of anger toward God for years that you made fun of me and Christians for over a decade?
Me:
Holy Spirit to Jesus: Oh, She quiet now....
Me: I don't know if I wanna talk about that thing
Holy Spirit to Jesus: She doesn't want to talk about the thing.
Me: I dealt with that thing
Holy Spirit to Jesus: Oh, She dealt with THAT thing
Jesus to Me:
Holy Spirit: *cough cough* infected bone *cough cough*
Me: Dude....I don't want to talk about that thing. It's a forgiven thing. It's not a thing.
Jesus: No its no longer an ANGER thing with you. It's still a thing.
Holy Spirit to Jesus: Oh, It's definitely still a thing..
Jesus: It's not an anger thing with you, it's a JEALOUS thing with YOU
Me: What are you talking about.
Jesus: It's an IDENTITY thing with you.
Me:
Jesus: You said you wanted to talk about it.
Me: I know what I said....
Jesus: Remember all those nights crying wanting something different when you were a kid?
Me:
Jesus: Remember how mad you were. That you had to deal with what you did while your friends had "normal" lives. The why's you asked me every holiday. Every Christmas Choir or band concert, every year. Over and over expecting something that could change but never did. Every year asking me to change things at home but they didn't change.
Me:
Holy Spirit: You said you wanted to relate....
Me: I am relating.... gimme a min. This is not fun...
Holy Spirit: You want inner healing...
Me: I know what I said....
Jesus: Now see the way the enemy twists that anger you conquered, into attacks of Jealousy toward your Christian friends with the happy families that are normal like you always wanted and how you need to conquer that familiar spirit attack of jealousy before I can take you deeper in this.
Me:
Jesus: Yeah, lets go ahead and repent of that and work through some stuff here. Demons have assignments. When the devil can't get you in an area that you have victory in, like your anger toward me, he will absolutely take that assignment and hand it off to familiar spirits that know how to target you in areas of weakness. Like attacks of jealousy toward the cookie cutter families that look like they have it all together.
Me: I was not expecting this....
Jesus: It's not wasted, Ash. Let's Pray.
Holy Spirit: Lets cut the head off this thing...

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