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159. Who am I?

 

Who am I? It's a question that to this day, boggles my mind. Over the decades (yikes, decades) of my life, there have been many different versions of who I believed I was. Some I was happy to be, some not so much. Yet every day of the past brought be to where I am at this point right now. I'm sure all of us can look back on periods of our past and wonder "What was I thinking?!" or better yet "How am I still alive?!" We don't get it, but He does. There was a purpose for your past. Luckily the Lord doesn't see who we were in our mistakes, He only sees who He designed us to be from the start. He sees our past, present and future all at once. We are not a surprise to Him. He knew exactly what He was getting into with us. He knew every temptation we would face and He faced them all with us, even when we refused to acknowledge His presence, or even His existence in our lives. 

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see your flaws? Do you see the failures of your past branded all over you like sharpie after a college party blackout? Do you hang on to what you were, forgetting your inheritance? Do you identify with the names you were called, the mistakes that you made, or the hurts that you caused. What about the ones that broke you down? Do you see your addictions, your sins? I know for years I did. I thought I was nothing. I thought I was unwanted, damaged goods and forgotten. I thought I would always struggle with depression, anxiety, shame and guilt like badges on a sash around my chest. Forget the scarlet letter, I had a scarlet alphabet. Yet when I look in the mirror today, all of that is gone. 

I struggle to see what others see in me, I can't lie and say I don't; but at the same time I have realized that I am not the same person I once was. Over the past two years of my life, I have shed my past like the skin of a snake. I have felt things break off of me like a statue coming to life. What was once a stone cold heart in my chest now beats with the blood of Christ and this love for people that I can barely describe in words. The Lord has given me this beautiful ability to see what He sees in people, while years ago I would have scoffed at the very thought of being friendly. 

I used to laugh at happy Christians. I didn't get it, I thought they were fake. Then I met Jesus. I saw Him, I felt His presence, I heard His voice, and I have been forever changed. I know that those people aren't fake (well some of them are, discernment lol) but most of the people that I have met, that I have been privileged to know, the ones that sit at the feet of Jesus, they are amazing. Their hearts are pure, their past becomes their testimony. Their stories of restoration, deliverance, healing, miracles, signs and wonders fascinate me. I can't get enough of what the Lord is doing in the lives of people all over the world. I am so blessed to see things right here, right now. I am a walking testimony of His goodness that I was blind to for so long. 

These things were so hidden, they weren't cool, they weren't what was in. They weren't popular, but I can tell you, they are REAL. Jesus is REAL, and I wish that everyone could know Him. To know the truth of His story. To understand the miracles that happened here on earth. To understand that He walked this earth as a man, equipped with the Holy Spirit, and not as a God. He showed us the way, He provided us a way to live in abundance, to be delivered from our ailments, mental, physical, and emotional. He said Himself that greater things will be done when He leaves the earth. His Holy Spirit in each and every one of us gives us the ability to heal, to deliver, to share the truth of the gospel in power, to cast out demons and to do the miraculous; and all He asks for in return is a heart dedicated to Him. A humble servants heart. He asks that we believe and put our faith in Him and when we do, miracles happen. Lives are forever changed and I am blessed to be living proof of that very fact.

When I look in the mirror now, I see life where there was death. I see love where there was hate. I see joy where I saw tears. I see peace where I saw frustration. I see patience where there was anxiety. I see kindness where there was judgement. I see goodness where there was evil. I see faithfulness where there was doublemindedness. I see gentleness where there was brutality, and I see self-control where there was addiction and depression. I see these changes in my own life, that in the natural I could have never made within myself. No amount of medication, drugs, alcohol, therapy, meditation, manifestation, or oneness with nature could produce in decades what Jesus and the fruit of the Holy Spirit produced within me in months. 

I don't share these blogs to condemn or to brag about my freedom, I share them to encourage, to challenge you to stop living in this world and to let the creator of this world live within you. I encourage you today to invite Jesus into your hearts, to let Him change your life, to let Him deliver you from your strongholds. I encourage you to welcome the Holy Spirit into your life, your heart, your home and to see for yourself that change is possible. You don't have to live in bondage. You don't have to identify with your past. You don't have to be depressed, in pain, or feel alone. You have a new future, you have a purpose and a calling. You have a divine reason for being right here, right now. There are no coincidences, only Christ. 

Look in the mirror and see the Jesus in you. See your destiny, your future, and learn from the past. Let your story become your testimony. People are waiting for someone just like you, someone to lift them up. Someone to speak and minister to them from a place of experience, revelation and hope. Real and raw ministers powerfully to the broken, the hurting and the lost. We don't have to be perfect to be perfected in Christ. 

If you haven't accepted Jesus it's not hard, It's actually quite simple. It's a heartfelt prayer, it's a cry to the Lord that you can't do it on your own anymore. If you'd like to invite Him in, say this prayer "Lord Jesus, I have kept my heart from you and I repent. I ask for forgiveness of my sins and for my unbelief. I believe that you are the Son of God, who died on the cross for my sins and rose on the third day. I believe that your words are true, come into my heart, Lord Jesus and be my Savior. I trust you, I thank you for delivering me from myself and from my sinful past. I thank you for coming after me, for pursuing my heart and for never giving up on me. Help me Lord to walk with you, help your words come alive to me. Write them on my heart as truth and cleanse my mind from evil.  Amen"

If you know Jesus, and wish to walk in the fruit of the Spirit, you need the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. If you feel led, say this prayer. "Dear Lord Jesus, I repent of every sin that had separated me from you. Lord I surrender myself to you. I now ask that you would Baptize me in your Holy Spirit and in your Fire. Set my heart on fire for you, Lord. I ask that your Spirit come upon me, to rest within me, to guide me, to bring your truth to life within me. I receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit right now by faith in Your Word. May the anointing, the glory, and the power of God come upon me and into my life right now. May I be empowered for service from this day forward. Thank You, Father, that You have heard my prayer. Thank You, Lord Jesus! Amen."

Ephesians 2:8-108 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

John 15:15 - 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Romans 8:14-15 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Jeremiah 1:5 - “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Galatians 2:20 -  I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Isaiah 43:1-3 But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. 3 For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Luke 11:9 Ask, and it shall be given to you

Luke 3:16 John answered them all, saying, “I baptize you with water, but he who is mightier than I is coming, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. 

Galatians 3:2 Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by hearing with faith?

Genesis 1:2"The Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters"

Galatians 5:22-26 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Acts 2:38 - Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 1:5 - For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence.

John 3:5 - Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

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