8. Did you read Acts yet? 10.01.19

8. Did you read Acts yet Ash? No, I didn’t, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I started to, but I got sidetracked by some of this other crazy stuff going on. Ok then, have it your way. No Sugar. Lord, I am on my way right now to Wendy’s to get a coke. I had my first day of my new job, I am parched. I have zero appetite. Pop is all I have left, I will die. Death to the flesh then Ashley. Look that one up. It’s in Romans.

Romans 8 Sonship Through the Spirit
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

Ok, so where is this message taking me right now? That depends on what you order in that drive thru. Suffer with Him Ashley it says so right there. Tell them what you have been doing and how hard it has been, tell them of the trials, sacrifices, prayer, fasting and obedience. Tell them that you always go back through and reword things to ensure that the Lord God Almighty gets ALL of the credit for every word spoken and every event taken place. Mention to them that I rewarded you with the job you started today out of “thin air”. That job came to you, just like that in Facebook messenger. You never have to chase what the Lord wants you to have. Bring up the connections you are forming, the healed relationships being restored, the prayer requests coming into your messages folder, tell them about that amazing connection we made with an old friend on your way home today, tell them that they can have all of this too, tell them that I am right there with them as a best friend trying to get them to understand the magnitude of what is happening here. Tell them that I am speaking to each of them in a way that they can understand me if they just LISTEN. Tell them that the Bible was written by a bunch of people who were experiencing real events during the time that Jesus walked this earth. It’s not a fairy tale, It’s a history book. This is going to be a big one. You have a can of green beans and a bottle of water at home. Chew on this information on your way to Wendy’s. Tell them it’s only been a month into this and look, LOOK.

Ugh, I can’t go anywhere or do anything anymore without all these words coming through me. Can’t it just take a break? No, No you can’t. You have to reach a new demographic with the Word in a way that they will listen. No one wants to go to church, no one thinks that they can understand the Bible. Everyone thinks that it is all too hard. It’s not. I will provide you with the words, scriptures and evidence with testimonies to back it all up. You just have to listen and OBEY.

What if I get attacked, lose friends, what if people think I am crazy? What if? Ash. I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.

Alrighty then, no sugar it is. This sounds like important stuff. I better take this seriously. What do I have to lose? I’d rather believe in Jesus, give it my all and die to learn that there was no heaven; than to ever take a chance on denying Jesus and learning that there really was a Heaven and that I didn’t make the cut.

Where do we go first? (as I eat my can of green beans in my kitchen at my computer drinking a water, at the same time Nash is enjoying his nuggets and fries) Talk about your work situation. How you had an amazing job with an excellent salary and how it sucked the life out of you and made you miserable. Tell them that money isn’t the answer, you can’t take it with you, Ash. Tell them that instead of chasing money and material things that they should be chasing connection, friendship, love, UNITY!!! Tell them about getting let go from your fancy position at 7 months pregnant. Tell them about WIC and unemployment running out, how worried you were and how I delivered you from that with the ability to take an entire summer off with you beautiful children because you were faithful to me.

Tell them about how Nash magically showed up after going back to church. That’s no coincidence. Tell them how much Erik’s family needed his joy. Tell them how you went back to work when Nash was 4 months old and how you wanted to walk out so many times crying because your health was failing, your baby was sick all the time, and tell them how you stuck it through until your very last day even though you had tears in your eyes and were plagued with repeated attacks of pink eye during that time. Do you not think that was a test? Tell them that you have cried yourself to sleep at least 80% of your life. Tell them how hurt you were inside and how much unhealed trauma you had to get out of you and heal from to move forward. 36 years’ worth. If you can do it anyone can.

Everyone thinks I’m crazy. Leah’s gram said I need to get checked into a mental institution. Leah’s gram is a wonderful woman of the Lord, but she’s old school Ashley and old school isn’t working anymore. It’s time for a revival of the WORD. For these words to be understood on a level that will affect people who will not go to the platforms that provide this information. Tell the book of face, Ash. Tell it with humility, grace and a connection that is raw, you were chosen and so are they, if they listen.

Tell them that you were chosen at a very young age. Tell them that you had a grandmother in heaven that saw Jesus when she was 13. That the doctors had thought she died from rheumatic fever and then she came back to life to speak about it. Tell them that was real. Tell them that she died at a young age so that her daughter would bring forth you Ash, to tell your story and not be ashamed. To help others realize that a nobody can become a somebody with Jesus. Tell them that her daughter, Lori was a wonderful woman who raised you and did the absolute best that she could. Tell them that every prayer your mother prayed was heard, every tear counted. Remind your mom that everything she went through, had a purpose. All her pain had a purpose, even to this day. Remind your mom that coming after you when you called her to tell her goodbye for the last time saved your life. Tell her how you heard her voice and had to confess to her, just by hearing her voice, that you had just ingested every pill in every bottle that you had in your apartment. Tell her she did so much more than save your life that night. Tell her thank you for answering that phone, Jesus spoke through her that day. Tell her that she is so much stronger than she realizes. She did everything just right. Tell them ALL that every situation you have ever been in your entire life has led up to this moment.

I am trying to but they don’t want to listen. How can I get them to listen to me. Remember Ash, when you were in sixth grade and you went to Century III mall and to the music store and picked up a CD with a Riddlebox on it. That was no coincidence, Ash. That was fate. Tell them how all those years being led by that band were actually years that you were closest to me, making friends with complete strangers in new cities, opening up to people in ways you haven’t since you left that crowd, being completely honest with who you were, what you lacked and what your traumas were. Tell them that ICP used their platform to reach their audience in a way that those troubled grungy kids could understand which would lead them to the Lord thy God. Tell the nay sayers that there is actually a song by ICP called “The Unveiling” that has lyrics that say “Truth is we follow God, we've always been behind him, The Carnival is God and may all Juggalos find him.”

Ok, Ashley you have lost it. You are telling me that a band that talks the way they do follows the Lord? What I am telling you is that the Lord our God is using every avenue possible on this earth to reach as many people as possible. Everyone has an audience. Maybe those kids think they are just at a concert, living their crap lives until they can get to that big carnival in the sky, but the energy in those concerts is something that has never been matched for me, until I was introduced to the Holy Spirit. The principals and words in their songs are off the wall in a Robin Hood sort of way. They are reaching those kids, who would have nothing to do with church or the Bible and making them think twice about this God that their favorite band speaks of. Planting a seed to an audience that would have no other way to hear anything about God any other way.

Ash, you keep saying that the Lord is trying to speak with us, How? I know you mentioned the still small voice but how will we know it is Him? I don’t know how to answer that honestly. For me, its in my gut, like a deep knowing. A woosh of knowledge, love, peace, kindness, acceptance. I hear him in the same way that I would talk to my friends, an inner dialogue of friendship and acceptance and love. He jokes with me to make me laugh, He smiles when I obey him, He shakes his head when I don’t. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, it just means that He knows that I am still making mistakes, and he loves me anyway. Everyone makes mistakes. That is the beauty of Christianity if you really peel it all back. Complete love, acceptance, peace, joy and rest in the Lord our Savior Jesus Christ. It’s something I spent 36 years getting to. I have to help you not let it take that long.

Think of those gut feelings you have. They are the Lord reminding you that you have a good heart and pleading to you to make better decisions. Think of every time you second guess yourself. Think of every time you are lead to reach out to someone to connect. That is Jesus guiding you through the Holy Spirit.

Think of the times that you had been out drinking and you decided to get in the car and drive home. That gut feeling that you shouldn’t drive, that is Jesus trying to protect you, speaking to you. Do you listen? If you go to open that car door and get in and think to yourself “Don’t do it, this is a bad idea” That’s the Lord speaking to you. If you get in and buckle up and start the car and in your head you hear “Are you freaking kidding me?!” that’s the Lord trying to reach you; If you then turn that key and start the car and you hear “Go the Fuck to bed here, it’s not worth it” That is the God trying to get your attention and reach you to save your life. No one can convince me that it’s not.

If you are in a bad crowd and used to bad language, I believe that the Lord uses the language you are used to speaking to get you to listen. To me, he is kind and loving but can be snarky with me when I don’t obey, because he knows that is how I know to listen. If a drug addict in a dark room with a rubber band on their arm is about to shoot heroin in their veins and they hear “You f*ck*ing Asshole, Stop doing this to yourself” I think that is the Lord God trying to reach them in a language they can understand. Please Listen.

Ok Ash, now go read Acts for real this time.