From the Muck to the Mighty; My Journey with Jesus

“What are you feeding it, Ash?” Feeding what Lord? “What are you feeding it, Ash?” Feeding what Lord? “What are you feeding it, Ash?” the Lord paused. In that pause I was face to face with what seemed like a wall made out of tightly packed rocks and dirt. I quickly realized that it wasn’t a wall at all but a lions den.  My focus shifted to a tiny cub. He was taking his little paw and scooping away the dirt near the entrance, trying to break through to get outside but he couldn’t. It was like he was stuck, the entrance caved in, and he was left to dig his way out on his own. Like a dog digging out from under a fence, with each scoop of his paw the cub would make progress, but more dirt would fall back in around the rocks. His little face was matted. I tried to move the rocks away but they were too heavy. I kept looking around for things to help him dig. All I had in my hand was my Bible.  I tried to use my Bible to break him out as best I could. I tried to use it to move the di...

The Lord has this unique way of driving things home and getting his point across to me, at all costs. Especially the cost of my flesh, my comfort and my wounds. You have to dig things up to clean them out. There are always days when I’d rather jump on that grave and pack the dirt down nice and tight, than to dig up wounds and dust them off even if it is to hand them over to Jesus. Recently I’ve had no choice but to come face to face with the areas I’ve fallen short.  The Lord has been revealing strongholds I need to tear down, wounds I need to heal, and mindsets I need grow up in. Areas where the enemy can still play his broken record in my mind. Areas where the level of truth that I have from the Lord isn’t enough to kick out the memories of my past. Sometimes you think you’re ok, until you aren’t.  My knee was healing great. There was a nice balance with my schedule, the kids, starting school and working. I finally felt like I could get things moving and cleaned out of the h...

During church Sunday morning the Lord spoke sharply to my heart. “Let them blow their fingers off, Ash.” Lord, you’re going to have to give me a little more than that. A tad softer He spoke again “Let them blow their fingers off, Ash.” Sometimes I wonder how He expects me to just understand what He means. I started to laugh while questioning Him in my mind and in the same exact moment, He showed me a vision of some fireworks. I saw the Lord walk over to it and spark the fuse. “Not everyone likes fireworks, Ash.”  He put on my heart that some don’t like the noise. Some are afraid. Some don’t want their perfect peace disturbed. Some will be oblivious in their ignorance but many will be shown the splendor of His Glory. “Do it for the ones that look for my Glory, Ash.”  The Lord put on my heart that each and every one of us are designed as fireworks carrying the glory of the Lord. We are sparked by our belief in Christ and we are ignited and fueled by our time in the word of God a...

Sometimes you need a reminder of how far you’ve come in such a short time. Today I dropped Leah off for breakfast with her gram before school like a normal day. Sandy came out to the car with a book and a hello for Nash man. She was holding this card for me in her hand. Leah had made it for me for Christmas, forgot about it and she just found it under the coffee table while she was cleaning up. Talk about crying in the car on a Monday morning.  Romans 8:28 - And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. In December things were heavy. Nash and I had been sick a lot in October, November and December. Leah had been staying with her gram more because we were so sick. We were going through antibiotics and testing negative for the c word. A few days before Christmas I noticed water really leaking out by the tub. A call to Allstate and a hidden leak later, my house was being turned upside down and ...