Sometimes spiritual warfare hides behind the scenes. Sometimes our thoughts are manipulated by the enemy. Sometimes its as simple as feeling a constant state of hyper emotions or sensory overload with frustration, anxiety, worry, panic or dread. Sometimes its feeling nothing at all. Sometimes the devil hides and sometimes he shows up and gets right in you face, literally. Friday I kicked demons out during a deliverance session and Sunday they were trying to choke me in the middle of the night. This is the first time anything like this has happened to me physically. I've seen visions but nothing ever to this extent and nothing that's ever physically tried to harm me. Until now.
That evening I was trying to sleep but couldn't. I was tossing and turning. I stayed up messaging a friend late at night and at about 2am I finally decided that I was going to lay down and try to fall asleep, restless or not. As I laid my head down, I felt a spinning in my mind. Like that room spinning feeling you get when you've drank yourself sick. Except instead of the room spinning, it was me. My head and body were swirling. I felt something metal scrape against my fingers. For some reason it reminded me of trying to get something out from under the refrigerator, like sticking your hand underneath and that metal grate feeling scraping you when you can't reach in any farther. I heard a voice in my head calling me a fool and saying some pretty nasty things and as this voice spoke I saw the words it was speaking in my head coming across my vision in capital letters. I was trying to say the word Jesus and as I rolled over and pulled the blankets up, I felt a hand grab the edge of the blanket and shove it in my mouth. I literally felt fingers in my mouth covered in blanket trying to jam it down my throat. My instinct was to bite down, and of course as I did, even though it felt like a hand and fingers, when I bit down, it was made of air. There was nothing there. I pulled the blanket down and rebuked whatever that was in Jesus name. As soon as I said the word Jesus, it left. However at the same time, I struggled to even say His name. It was like my voice was frozen. Once I shook that off, I prayed again over the house, over my bed, and looked over at Nash as he slept peacefully through he whole thing. That night I barely slept. I was wondering what warranted that attack. Had I not prayed enough, was it something that I stirred up in the house, was it something that hung around after deliverance. Every possible thought ran through my mind.
Again, these retaliation attacks are why people don't willingly run toward deliverance ministry signing up at every chance they get. It can get weird, scary and put you in situations where your faith is tested. I spent the next day wondering the why, what and how of it. I reached out to my friend Brittany and she immediately asked me if I had "pissed off a witch". Undoubtedly I had, but little did I know it was a part of me that was upset and opening doors to witchcraft. A few blogs ago I had written about another deliverance that I had experienced for myself. There was something that had stayed behind during that meeting. Witchcraft rooted in old behaviors from decades ago. A version of myself that didn't believe in this Jesus stuff. One that had an altar built for candles, Ouija boards and fire rituals. She was pissed and didn't want to be exposed or told to go anywhere.
I found this out by contacting a friend who does deliverance. He set up a call and turns out sure enough there was another kingdom there, another king pin, and another version of myself stuck and not going anywhere. I learned about a new demon called Hecate, wouldn’t you know that the Statue of Liberty is a demon. Now, it's one thing to go to deliverance and see what happens there, its a totally different experience going deeper, digging up roots, feeling like you are in the back seat of your own body, seeing your own face change and hearing that bratty old you come to the surface and resist everything you're trying to grow up and become. Hearing demons coming to the forefront and dealing with their rights to be there. I was so thankful that my dear friend took the time to fit me in last night. To bring this stuff to the surface and to command it to go.
Now I might sound crazy, but there are splits that can occur during your life. When you experience trauma, engage in sin that traumatizes your heart, or if you are abused, a part of your soul can shatter like a mirror. Many people call it split personalities, being bi-polar, or having borderline personality disorder, etc. Many don't realize they are dealing with traumatic alters from different parts of their life. If you are hung up on a certain event, a certain time in your life, a certain unforgiveness you cant get past, or certain behaviors and addictions you can't get away from, you could be dealing with an alter.
I'm still learning, I am still growing and I am still trying to figure all of this out. There is a calling on my life to teach others, to open minds and eyes to the reality of spiritual warfare. To share my story as it continues to mold me into the woman that the Lord has designed me to become. There is more to freedom than just believing in Jesus. There is more to this life than the mundane 9-5. There are wars for souls. There are people lost and being drug straight to hell by past traumas in their life that they can't let go of, or that don't want to let go of them.
Deliverance is messy, its never ending, its eye opening. The fights I have fought over the last two years have been some of the most challenging of my life. Yet at the same time, the freedom, peace, joy and love that I feel from the Lord can barely be described by words. When you feel light, free, unchained by your thoughts, when your anxiety is gone, when you no longer feel depressed, when you react to things totally differently than you ever would have before, then you see. You struggle to believe that this is who you get to become. Your eyes become opened to the truth of what we are fighting, and it's not one another. Don't settle for being just fine. Don't settle for just getting by in this life. Don't settle for being a panicked anxious mess. Just fine isn't good enough, you were designed to thrive. You were designed to be above the troubles of the world. You do not have to be trapped in your body, in your past or in your mind. You have the ability to be free and walk in the Spirit of the Lord.
Today my worship has been louder, my peace has overflown, my body feels still and my mind is calm. The seas have parted and I no longer feel like there is a war within my own mind. Find your freedom. Find your peace. Find your Jesus. Don't settle for fine, find!
Be a Mary Magdelane, we have the power to win the war.
Luke 8:2 and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out
James 2:19 - Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.
Matthew 10:1 - And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.
1 John 4:4 - Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world
Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
John 10:10 - The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Leviticus 19:31 - Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God
1 John 4:4 - Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
Ephesians Chapter 6:10-18 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hecate
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