It seems like things have been quietly chaotic lately. Between starting a new job, the sun going down at 5pm, the cold weather, the snow and the thousand other things that go along with being a mom, life has been taking a toll on me over this last month.
Im not perfect, I still struggle with things at times. It’s difficult to get into a new work routine. It’s difficult to keep two kids happy. This quarantine stuff is making me crazy. I’ll never claim to know it all, but I do know that for some reason, every time I get busy and lose time, the Lords time is the time that gets cut. It’s like I know He’s there but when I get busy or deal with an attack of depression, it’s almost as if I revert to this introvert and isolate. I pray less when I should be praying more.
I haven’t blogged in a while because I haven’t had any visions or words lately (because I haven’t been taking the time to keep the Lord my priority) and I don’t want to be one of those people that has to drum it up to keep things going, or one posts just to get attention. If the Lord is quiet with me, then I’m quiet here.
Yesterday I had a vision as I was sitting in the quiet, looking at the Christmas tree. I closed my eyes and I saw what looked like a giant scribble. It reminded me of one of those fat sharpies, the really thick ones that smell really strong. What stood out to me was that it seemed angry. Like someone grabbed the marker in a fist and angrily slashed back and forth with it. I didn’t understand what that meant so I took some time to pray and ask the Lord for revelation.
As I continued praying, I saw a body of water. It looked like a lake, but was formed in a perfect circle like a swimming pool. The sky was cloudy but the water gave off a perfect reflection of the surroundings. There were trees overgrown with moss that had thick dusty bark that was falling away. There were dried vines growing on many of the trees.
I saw people of all types and prestige coming from every direction. They were walking toward the water with purpose. As they approached the edge of the water, they all lined up around the lake in that perfect circle. Each person appeared normal. There was nothing out of the ordinary about anyone. It looked like an average crowd of people.
As each one looked down and their reflection appeared in the water, their faces changed. Words began to appear in black marker all over their skin. It was something that I could see, but they couldn’t.
I asked the Lord for clarification on what I was seeing. What was put on my heart was that this was a visual of every sin each one of those individual had committed. It didn’t matter if they were dressed like a banker, a lawyer, a mom, a construction worker, a grandfather; every one of their faces were covered in writing, there was no exception. It didn’t matter if it was murder, or something like jealousy, pride or anger. It was written all over their faces.
If people saw your sin what would you look like? Would they want to be around you? What if you could see everyone else’s? Would their sins be “worse” than yours? How would you feel being completely transparent? Would you be afraid of rejection? Would you be happy with what you saw?
I asked the Lord for scripture to go with this and I was led to 2 Corinthians 13. We need to examine ourselves. We need to realize that the only one that will ever love us when they can see every one of our sins, every negative word spoken, every judgment made, every transparent piece of our hearts and minds, the only one that will truly provide unconditional love to you is the Lord. Jesus died for our sins to be washed clean.
I began to see people going into the water. They were crying out to the Lord for forgiveness and welcoming the Lord into their hearts as their savior. As they entered the water, the words were washed away. They were cleansed of an entire life’s worth of sin in a matter of seconds. That’s how much the Lord loves us all. That’s how He sees us. Even when He is the only one that can see the marker all over your face, He chooses love and acceptance. He chooses you and He will continue to choose you every single day. He is waiting for you to choose Him!
2 Corinthians 13
Examine Yourselves
13 This is the third time that I am coming to you. On the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter shall be confirmed. 2 I have previously said when I was present the second time, and though now absent I say in advance to those who have sinned in the past and to all the rest as well, that if I come again I will not spare anyone, 3 since you are seeking proof of the Christ who speaks in me, who is not weak toward you, but mighty in you. 4 For indeed He was crucified because of weakness, yet He lives because of the power of God. For we too are weak in Him, yet we will live with Him because of the power of God directed toward you.
5 Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you—unless indeed you fail the test? 6 But I expect that you will realize that we ourselves do not fail the test. 7 Now we pray to God that you do nothing wrong; not so that we ourselves may appear approved, but that you may do what is right, though we may appear unapproved. 8 For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. 9 For we rejoice when we ourselves are weak, but you are strong; this we also pray for, that you become mature. 10 For this reason I am writing these things while absent, so that when present I need not use severity, in accordance with the authority which the Lord gave me for building up and not for tearing down.
11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice, mend your ways, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. 12 Greet one another with a holy kiss. 13 All the saints greet you.
14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all.
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