6. Ok guys this one is going to be good. It’s a mixture of something that just happened to me this minute and something that happened to me last Saturday. Let’s start with what the Holy Spirit has led me to deliver tonight, the NONSENSE I had to do, and the internal struggle and dialogue that I had to go through, to heed the voice of the Holy Spirit to get this message out to you. The pain that someone in another city had to go through to get this message out to you. I feel crazy. This is nuts.
As I am putting Nash to bed I’m thinking ok, I have an event that I want to write about but I am not sure how to get it out, or exactly how to bring this up in a relatable context. It’s going to sound crazy. How Lord, how can I get your message across today? Show me Jesus. Boom. You will not believe the message that the Holy Spirit has bestowed upon you, oh the mighty book of faces for you are so vain. Seeking the things that bring temporary laughter instead of everlasting salvation and eternal life. For He will come as a thief in the night. I am pleading you to heed these words.
1 Thessalonians 5 (NKJV) The Day of the Lord
5 But concerning the times and the seasons, brethren, you have no need that I should write to you. 2 For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night. 3 For when they say, “Peace and safety!” then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman. And they shall not escape. 4 But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this Day should overtake you as a thief. 5 You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. 6 Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. 7 For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. 8 But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. 9 For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. 11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
5 But concerning the times and the seasons, brethren, you have no need that I should write to you. 2 For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night. 3 For when they say, “Peace and safety!” then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman. And they shall not escape. 4 But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this Day should overtake you as a thief. 5 You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. 6 Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. 7 For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. 8 But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. 9 For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. 11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
Now, back to tonight’s real in person events. I leave my phone on the edge of the couch and go to the bathroom to wash my face. Leah has this bubble thing in the tub that plays music. This thing keeps playing music without anyone in the tub, so I go to turn it off. I press the button once, nothing happens, still playing music, I hit it twice, three times, nothing still music. I’m thinking this noise is preventing me from hearing God on purpose so I kick the thing hard and it shuts off. I go back to saying “Show me your message Lord” and I’ll be darned if that music didn’t start back up again. I am frustrated at this point and I go in there and tear that thing off the wall and take the batteries out of it. I am thinking if it’s this hard to hear, it must be good. I keep asking God to show me his message and How to talk about the power of the Holy Spirit that I experienced last Saturday and Sunday. I’m frustrated with not hearing and I decide that I am going to take a break and go in the bathroom to do my eyebrows, nose hairs all that jazz and I hear once again “if the right hand”. I am like come on man, why is this bombarding me this way, why all of this all so fast, what is going on here?!. I am thinking this is crazy, it’s 10pm, I am tired. I can’t cut my face off Lord. I mean, I would if that really is what you want me to do, but that would be a bit extreme to prove a point. Do I shave my head, shave my eyebrows, what!? I’ll do whatever you tell me after what happened this past weekend. Show me what to say and do. Show me how to reach them with the words you provide me.
Well Ash, what could have possibly happened last weekend that has you all wacked out like this, that you’d be willing to literally cut your face off if your Lord God told you to? What has gotten into you? We will get to that but listen to this first crazy story from an hour and a half ago first.
As I am standing there considering which part of my head was going to get shaved for Jesus, the still small voice says. “Take the bathroom mirror off of the wall, Ash.” So in my head I go, really Lord, the bathroom mirror? What does that have to do with anything? “Are you listening, Ash?” Lord, Leah will be home soon she needs to use the bathroom and brush her teeth, and I knew not to even finish that sentence and I decided that bathroom mirror is coming off the wall. Then, as I place that mirror on the ground in my bathroom, I hear in my gut the verse of that song “There’s an army rising up.”
Here I am, little ole me, looking to the Lord to get his message out and find a way to get across to you the Gentle, Loving, Awesome Power of the Holy Spirit in a way that will not make you think that I need to be put in a nut house. Trying to find a way to get this across to you, not even knowing that I was living it IN THE VERY MOMENT. Think of it this way. You are in a room, there is a hallway attached to it and at the end of that hallway there is everlasting life and eternal salvation. The hallway is the Holy Spirit, it’s your connection.
Well, I think, I’ll just get my phone and start typing and see where this goes. I look in the living room, it’s not there and I’m thinking where could it be? I turned the lights on, I looked in the dining room, Leah’s room, the bathroom, Nash’s room, I looked in the kitchen garbage can, I looked everywhere I could. I could have sworn that it was on the edge of the couch. I could have sworn it was!! At this point, I keep pacing in circles for over ten minutes saying out loud “ok, if I can’t find my phone then this is obviously a lesson I need to learn, please show me what you want me to learn from this. Please help me get your message across.
That screen shot below will show you all you need to see about the undeniable presence of the Holy Spirit affecting my phone, taking it in and out of service from blue to green to dead and back during this time when everything was going crazy here. How can a phone sitting still in one place go in and out of service and shut off? How can it go from one room to another? I kept pacing the house, looking for the phone, thinking when will it show up? It was like it had just vanished into thin air. I get ready to say things don’t vanish into thin air when I remember the Lord saying to me once, “They do when I’m in charge.” That stops me for a minute and now I am really thinking ok, Lord, I learned that once, what do I have to do to get this message. And I hear “You’re doing it right now, Ash. You’re searching for your phone with an urgency and desperation that should only be used to seek ME!” Tell them that, Ash. Boom like lightening. “Tell them that they would more eagerly search for a lost cell phone used to adhere their fleshly desires than they would ever search for their everlasting Salvation. Ask them WHY?! Tell them How painful that is to the Lord. Tell them that I will always leave the 99 to find the 1, not matter what situation they find themselves in. If they seek me, repent and ask for forgiveness, they will find me.
Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Lord, I have your message, I have the scripture to go with it!!! I was so excited I started to cry; I knew what I was led to say. Now only to find my phone to say it. I go back to looking for my phone thinking, it will turn up. I paced that house, I went in my bedroom and turned on the lights and looked everywhere. Then I hear the still small voice say. “Put the bathroom mirror back on the wall, Ash.” So I get a little fussy and I say, what is this Lord? Why are you making me jump through hoops, like this? I’m conditioning you, Ash. Ok, Lord. I will heed your call. I go and put the mirror back on the bathroom wall. Thinking that I am in some weird episode of Stranger Things. I start pacing again, looking for my phone. Still can’t find it Lord. Can you help me out on this one please, I am tired and I want to lay down. Go check on Nash, Ash. I go in and I am thinking I’ve been in here at least 4 times it’s not in here. Turn on the light, Ash. I turn on the light and I have no clue how, but my phone was tucked under Nash’s right leg in bed with him. HOW?! How does this stuff Happen?! Why is it happening to me, and what is this trying to teach everyone?!?!
I was so excited thinking, I have to get this message out, I am going crazy, this is insane. I was just led by God to learn a lesson and didn’t have to wait days or weeks to reflect back before realizing what it was trying to teach me and how to communicate it!! I grab my phone to call Erik and tell him about this crazy story I just lived out in real time and I see that Erik has texted me, going crazy, he’s telling me that he was not feeling good with mental and physical attacks during the time all this happened. He was texting me and I’m not answering back. As he is texting the colors of the text bubbles are changing as if I am driving or the phone is moving or going in and out of service. That phone went somehow from the living room to my bedroom being tucked under Nash’s leg in his bed and somehow the Lord God sent me on a wonderful treasure hunt to find it along with the message to bring tonight.
Ok Ash, so what does this have to do with the amazing thing that happened to you last weekend. What happened that would make you that dedicated to Jesus? Why of all the Gods everyone worships, why Jesus? The short answer to that is that I know, that I know, that I know, that Jesus is it. I’ll share that vision on another day. It’s too overwhelming for this post. I haven’t been able to find the words for it yet.
What I will talk about is what did happen to me on Saturday to help me realize that this is just going to get crazier and that it is the real deal. I can’t make this stuff up guys, why would I? What do I have to gain from fasting, not sleeping, throwing out my TV. What am I gaining from any of this? I am trying to reach people who’s hearts have been tugged on by God for years. My spirit wants to scream that he is still trying to reach you. Even if you think He has given up on you. The hairs on your head are numbered.
Now for Saturday’s story. I drive to Morgantown to visit Erik and Nash’s Nan and Pap. As I am in the bedroom, I begin to feel very ill, I get shaky, nauseous, my hands hurt they are hot and want to explode out of my palms, and I am experiencing this calm knowing that things will be alright and that there will be a breakthrough. That tight feeling goes back up into my chest that dynamite stick feeling where my chest is going to explode is coming up. I keep breathing and thinking to myself what this is trying to show me, what is this trying to teach me. The next thing I know the pain goes form my chest up into to the right side of my head. Then I start to feel it go from up inside the right side of my head, down to where my inner ear was and like a gust of wind it came out of my right ear it blew like air from the inside out? How does that happen?! Now I am sitting there like what the heck is going on, I don’t understand any of this?! Erik goes hold on a minute and leaves the room. He comes back and goes, guess what?! I’m like what, what are you talking about? How does a gust of wind coming out of my right ear and a headache have anything to do with anything? Erik says, “My mom has a sinus infection and all of her pain is in the right side of her head and her right ear hurts.” By this time the feeling had left me, and I was so confused. I say to him, “So, uh does that mean I should have prayed for her or something?!” He goes “I think so.” I am thinking man I missed it. Little did I know what the Holy Spirit had in store for church the next day.
When the alarm went off Sunday morning, I felt an overwhelming desire to stay home. I felt sick and I was having a really hard time getting to the car. I was dizzy and I almost threw up a few times at the house. That is how I know there will be a breakthrough, the sicker I feel, the more intense the darkness is trying to combat the Holy Spirit’s presence. I am very stubborn and don’t really listen to little nudges the way I should. I don’t think this experience is universal for everyone, I can only speak on how my physical body is affected. It may be completely different for you. A great example is tonight, I have gotten up and gone to the bathroom at least 3 times while I’ve been writing this. Where there is discomfort, there is breakthrough. I implore you brethren push through your discomfort, heal your wounds, ask for forgiveness and come back home to Jesus.
On my way to church I had been coughing, gagging and throwing up, holding a Walmart bag on my lap the entire way there. The closer I got to church the sicker I became. I parked in the parking lot and thought to myself. I have to get in there, this must be good. If I am this sick, it has to be good.
Bible study was normal, I did keep getting these shivers though. It’s almost as though your entire body shivers and the muscles get all tense. I was confused by how I was feeling, but I kept thinking this is something special, I don’t know what but it’s something special. The music starts and we begin worship and I can feel everything tightening up. This gentle presence of the Holy Spirit descends, and my body gets tighter, I begin to feel that same pressure in my chest that I felt in Morgantown, what is this? What if I am supposed to do something today?! I’m not ready for that? I don’t know what to do! This is way too big for me Lord, my hands feel like they go from a lukewarm to a fiery hot. My fingers feel like they want to almost bend themselves all the way back to my forearms and that the palms of my hands were exploding. I can’t do this Lord, this is too big for me. Who needs help? What do I say? What do I do? My flesh was saying I can’t. Just as the devil was convincing me that I can’t, I felt that same pain in my chest dissolve and settle into my collar bones and travel across my shoulders, It settled there for a brief moment and the feeling from the left side melted away and left only the right shoulder and collar bone affected. Now I am thinking what should I do Lord?! Do I just interrupt everyone and say who needs prayer for your right shoulder?! The still small voice says, “Who has shoulder problems, Ash?.” Just like that, the lightbulb went off and the Holy Spirit was like ok, you know WHO, now get him to let us pray for him. I’m thinking how? I hear “2 weeks” I have no clue what that means Lord but I am not going to sit still when you are telling me to MOVE. I might completely miss this, but I can’t not obey. Not after all of this. Not now.
So little ole me who is about to explode into tears holds up her meek little hand and says “Harry, can I ask you is your shoulder hurting you?” He replies “No, its ok” and I think oh I missed it. The Devil says, see you could never help anyone. Then the Holy Spirit began to move in me in a way I could never fully explain with words. The tears started coming down my face and my voice cracked and I go “Harry, I think we need to pray for your shoulder” and He goes "Ok sure". He comes down and the next thing I know I am already half way up there tears rolling down my face, feeling like I am a lunatic who has just lost her mind. All I could do was wave my arms and say come pray for Harry everyone. All while inside I’m thinking please come pray because I have no idea what I am doing. Please help me get whatever this is to wherever it needs to go. When I put my hands on his shoulder, my hands were so hot. My knees buckled underneath me, shaking and I could barely stand up at all (I still think it felt like someone was holding me up, oh that Jesus) I am trying to be in the moment of the Holy Spirit but at the same time I am thinking, Say something, don’t just cry and shake there like you’re having a seizure, say something! What do I say?! What does Kevin always say? So I go “Pain be gone in the name of Jesus” but I don’t feel that that’s what it is, deep inside. I am wrestling with this and then out of thin air, my voice changes and I hear my body say “Faith be restored in the name of Jesus.” A few brief moments later, I am dropped to my knees as the Spirit is lifted. We all go back to regular church service.
Now I am like, omg I have to go sit down, what was that, I can't walk? Here I am thinking it was pain in his shoulder but it was a little bigger than that. Then I realized that the way the pain was traveling was to tell me who to focus on (the person with that specific issue) and that the step after that will be to listen and be still and wait for intuition to let me know what the problem is. Thank you Lord God for the lessons I am learning and the ability to share this during this journey. I have no Idea what is coming next, but I can’t wait to find out.
After church I had talked with Harry, let him know my thought process of prompting me to say those things. I can’t sit here and be ashamed for not getting every little detail right. But maybe you could be ashamed for not trying at all and for turning you back on the one who would never turn his back on you. Sorry that sounded a little harsh but it’s true. As someone who was on the other side of things, dealing with depression, anger, suicidal thoughts. I can assure you that this crazy Jesus thing. This thing that you looked at Christians and scoffed at, this thing that you judged from a distance and continue to judge right now. This is the key, this is the light of salvation. This is what everyone has been looking for.
Why do you think there is a whole generation coming up that is angry and confused? Why do you think there are confusion issues? Why do you think there are misplaced anger issues with folks attacking climate change, abortion, animal cruelty, all of it. The answer is so much bigger than all of that combined. Of course, you are ANGRY, of course you are CONFUSED on who you are, of course you don’t feel right here. You are a spiritual being that is destined to return to the creator through the salvation of Jesus Christ blood shed on the cross. WE DON’T BELONG HERE. The generation that is coming up as anxious and uncomfortable and angry, they are a powerful generation. They are a generation that can come together for the greater good to defeat evil once and for all. But they are divided when they should be coming together.
Sectarianism Is Sin
1 Corinthians 10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. 12 Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” 13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?
14 I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 lest anyone should say that I had baptized in my own name. 16 Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas. Besides, I do not know whether I baptized any other. 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.
1 Corinthians 10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. 12 Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” 13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?
14 I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 lest anyone should say that I had baptized in my own name. 16 Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas. Besides, I do not know whether I baptized any other. 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.
Comments
Post a Comment