51. It’s really hard to find words to explain the glory of the events taking place here. I’ve wanted to get so much out but I feel like the words won’t come. I’ve received a few messages from people asking me for updates and more pictures. People wondering why the crazy ranting Facebook Jesus lady is all of a sudden speechless. I spent a long time last night writing out a detailed post but after 20 hours of trying to get it to upload, I had to discard it and just try again. It’s been a really rough few days for me. It’s funny how you can spend so much energy looking forward to something and when it gets there the enemy tries to steal all of your joy. Especially when what you’re doing will advance the kingdom of the Lord.
It reminds me of Matthew 9:35-38. The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. It’s hard work when you’re called by the Lord. It may look like it’s easy to pray for people all day. It may seem like throwing a few scriptures at your problems and casting your care is the easy way out. I can assure you it’s not. Christians are always going to be attacked by the enemy the hardest. I’m living proof of that. The easy way out is turning away from the Lord. The easy way is turning to alcohol, drugs, tv, food, sugar, video games, you tube, podcasts, or to any other idol you have in your life that takes your mind off of the Lord and the fact that there is clearly a Hell that so many people will be going to. We must harvest souls for the kingdom. It’s what we as Christians are called to do.
I’ve been under attack from the enemy since a few days before I left for this trip. From bouts of insomnia, losing my voice, feeling drained mentally and physically to missing my kids like my heart is breaking into a million pieces, I just haven’t felt like myself at all. I see all of these amazing individuals and their joy for the Lord and all I want is a chance to breathe in the smell of Nash man’s shampoo and cuddle with him. It’s to the point where I almost want to put the Bubble Guppies theme song on to fall asleep. Almost. Lol. Sleeping alone in a bed makes me miss getting kicked in the kidneys every night by miss Leah. I’d give anything to wake up in the middle of the night and shove her back over to her side of the bed. I’ve felt taxed and drained and then I became disappointed in myself for feeling that way. How could I be in this amazing place surrounded by such wonderful people and want nothing more than to pick up and fly back to my kids. I know I’m where the Lord needs me to be and I know that Leah and Nash are fine and having fun but man is it harder on me than I thought it would be. I suppose it just means that I have a heart in here somewhere after all. Nash man has been a tiny human version of a security blanket for me for the last year and a half. I miss his little face. I tried to face time him once and bro played peek a boo with me. I darn near had a nervous break down when I hung up. I’m sticking to texts for the remainder of the trip. I can’t handle it. Enough about me though, I know you’re all looking forward to hearing what’s been happening here in Honduras.
The first day we arrived we unpacked and headed to a church service. To be honest, I don’t remember much about that evening it was all kind of a blur. It’s hard to remember everyone you pray for but I’ll do my best to highlight as many as I can. We are welcomed into these churches as guests and each church has its own individual feeling. The Holy Spirit is doing an amazing work here. Every message delivered seems to be exactly what is needed for these people. Everyone we pray for is receiving healing. It’s easy to get excited about physical healings taking place. It’s amazing to lay hands on someone and have them say their pain is gone. What we forget about though, is that inner healing and healing of the heart and mind are equally if not more important. The Lord can heal your anger, your depression, your anxieties. He can take away your emotional pain as easily as the physical pain. You simply have to invite Him into your heart.
The second day we headed out to do some street ministry. It was a beautiful day. It’s amazing how open everyone is to talking to strangers here. Even without a translator you can pretty much walk down the street an say “Tienes dolor?” (Do you have pain?) followed by “Donde?” (Where?) and go from there. Everyone we prayed for was touched by the Lord. We headed to the town square where Kevin paid these kids 5 bucks to stop playing their drums so he could announce why we were there. He stood up and proclaimed that we were there to share the gospel, to heal the sick and to cast out demons. Many came up to receive Christ, to be prayed for and healed. Another man came up and full on manifested a demon. He was screaming “where’s your power?” Joe replied by saying “the blood of Jesus over you!” And guy fell to the ground and was set free from demonic oppression. It was intense. When we returned to the hotel there was a lady who stopped by selling bread. She carried the basket on her head daily and her neck was in pain. I prayed for her neck and the pain went away. She had pain in her foot from all the walking she does and after I prayed twice for her foot the pain was gone from there also. That evening we went to church service and a woman came up with stomach pain. I prayed for her stomach and her stomach was healed. I love the look of happiness on someone’s face when the pain that they have been experiencing vanishes in Jesus name.
On Sunday we attended meetings at 7 different churches. The messages spoken by Mark, Angelo and Rachel that morning brought conviction, hope and an urgency to look at your own heart and reevaluate your motives. The worship was really good. Something about the volume being able to bust your eardrums gets me riled up in the spirit. I love worship. There was a baby girl being dedicated that day and when we were up there for prayer, the mother brought her to me. I prayed over the mother and over the beautiful little baby and her tiny hand grabbed my pinky finger as I prayed for her. My heart melted. Another woman came up with shoulder and arm pain and after I prayed for her she was able to move her arms freely without pain. She asked me to pray for her son who has a cough so I covered him in prayer also.
That evening we went to another church service. Joe and Nicole delivered powerful messages. We were short translators so when it came time to call everyone up for prayer I pretty much went rogue with the few years of Spanish that I took in high school and during gifted class in middle school. A man came up to me with knee and back pain. The pain left his back when I prayed but his knee still hurt. I knelt down and prayed for his knee and asked him to bend it, still some pain. I prayed two more times and as the pain left his knee, he had the biggest smile on his face and he immediately began clapping his hands and praising the Lord. Another man came up with elbow pain and after I prayed he was able to extend his arm without any issues. He gave me a huge hug. My eyes went to the crowd and there was a man seated near the isle. I walked over to him and said “dolor?” He pointed to his knees and back. I prayed for his knees and stretched his legs out. His left leg was about an inch shorter than his right. I commanded his leg to grow in Jesus name and boom both legs were even. I prayed for his back and then he stood up. He said his pain was gone. He stood up and sat down a few times in a row to test it out. The pain was all gone. Then my eyes locked on to a woman near the back. I went over to her and the minute I touched her, I could feel all the pain in her heart. I could feel years of abuse and such deep emotional pain. As I began praying over her, I cast out all trauma, hurt, pain, inferiority. I broke a generational curse of abuse and then asked the Lord to fill her with the Holy Spirit taking away all emotional pain. As I prayed over her in tongues she fell out and I laid her down to the floor in the Spirit. I prayed over her for all memories of abuse and trauma to be erased and for peace to take their place. She laid on the ground with tears in her eyes and a smile of pure love on her face. As she stood back up she hugged me so tight I thought she’d never let go. Before we left that church they started the music again and we all danced. It was beautiful.
The vision the Lord gave me while we were in that church was one of a staircase. The staircase was composed entirely of demons and whatever other minions the enemy has control over. As I climbed the staircase the demonic entities toward the bottom were easy to ascend. You could step right on their faces as you climbed higher in your relationship with Christ. As the staircase got steeper the opposition from the demonic forces grew stronger. You could still break free and move forward with each step toward the Lord. However, the evil forces would claw at your ankles, they’d grasp at your toes. They would do all in their power to stop you from taking that next step. The higher you come in Christ, the more difficult the attack from the enemy. The beautiful thing is that the enemy has already been conquered by the blood of the lamb. It may seem difficult to keep moving forward, but difficult is not impossible. Keep pursuing Jesus.
Today was rainy so we ended up doing worship for a few hours. It was the most amazing worship experience I’ve ever been apart of. It’s so refreshing to be surrounded with people that see visions and hear words from the Lord. I’m surrounded by the most anointed group of individuals I’ve ever met. I have to keep checking myself because I have those Wayne’s world moments of thinking “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy!” Most of you are two young to even get that reference but I’m leaving it in there. Google it. I kept thinking that there would be amazing works done by the Lord here but I didn’t realize what an amazing work the Lord would be doing inside of my heart as well. While we were worshiping the vision I received was one of evil forces surrounding the building. Every word of praise that rang out from that service would send this atomic bomb ripple effect out into the spirit realm. The enemies evil forces were being blown back with every word spoken, every song, every tear, every prophetic word, every dance. It was amazing to have a visualization of what praise and worship do to the enemies evil forces. They never stand a chance.
After worship we took a walk and ended up doing more street ministry. What town in America can someone walk around with an open pack of cookies offering people cookies and praying for them? The people here are so open to receiving from the Lord. We ate some amazing food and headed back to get ready for a Pastor/Church Leader meeting. That meeting was incredible. Kevin and Derik both spoke but they didn’t realize until right before we left that the Lord gave them the same exact message to deliver. One of unity and not competition. One of coming together and not being jealous of others congregations. One of coming together for the city, the country and for the Lord. Then Angelique told them about her vision. One where all the churches marched down the street to Jesus, together as one. We prayed over them and then they prayed over us. I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t go down in the Spirit at one point. As I was being prayed over by their pastors I fell back in the Spirit and began speaking loudly in tongues for the first time. I speak in tongues but usually only to a volume I keep to myself or only in prayer over others. This time it was coming up and out of me loud and clear for the first time. I was blown away by that feeling. I’ll never forget it.
I think one of the biggest issues I need to conquer is feeling like I’m this baby Christian going a thousand miles and hour in the fast lane. You guys are used to my stories and visions by now. I mean I’ve shared like a hundred of these posts since August. I’m still learning so much and I’m not at all used to having genuine people you can open up to who won’t use what you say as manipulative ammunition to get what they want. I’m not used to having genuine friendships in Christ. I’m not used to crying and breaking down in front of other people when my walls are being town down. I’m not used to being surrounded by other people who have visions and hear from the Lord the same way I do. It’s amazing but I constantly have that it’s too good to be true feeling. I know that I need to trust the Lord with everything I am. It’s just difficult when everything you are living is so different than everything you’ve ever known.
Tomorrow we are going to a hospital to pray for the sick. I’m beyond excited and I know that the Lord will be doing great works through each of us. I am having a really hard time believing that this isn’t all a dream. I am so thankful to the Lord for using me this way.
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