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11. How Will I Know My Gift? 10.03.19

11. Jesus is amazing!!! I do have a wonderful message but first I wanted to take a minute to convey my gratitude to everyone who has reached out to me privately over these past few days/week. A thank you to those who have sent me songs, videos, kind words and notes of encouragement regarding how my current journey has made them reconsider church and their relationship with Jesus.
I’d also like to point out the number of people hiding behind the glass mirror of their phones and let them know how painful that is for the Lord God to watch as genuine connections are fading away to text message conversations. Text message conversations that the Devil has the ability to manipulate without you even knowing.
How can the Devil manipulate text messages Ash? Well nay sayer, by tone you read them in your head with. The devil can even create arguments out of thin air with the people you love if you aren’t careful. Now back to this glass mirror phone thing. Let’s look at scripture.
James 1:23-25 New King James Version (NKJV)
23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.
Ok Ash. So how do I become a doer of the word I’m no apostle, I’m not full of the Holy Spirit? Well nay sayer, heed the still small voice always!! Be kind, be loving, be forgiving. It’s all in this Bible thing I love so much now. It’s all in there like an instruction manual.
Well Ash, that still small voice doesn’t talk to me the way it does you. Well, nay sayer. I don’t think the Holy Spirit would talk to me this way and help me help others if I didn’t listen to every little “gut feeling”.
For example, yesterday morning I was so tired. Nash woke up and I wanted to give him an easy breakfast and milk and get him in his baby cage with some cartoons on so I could lay back down on the couch for a half hour. I was exhausted. I reach for the cereal and as I reach I feel, Nope make pancakes. I don’t want to make pancakes I’m tired I want to give him a cereal snack and lay down.
WWJD? Give a baby dry cereal or make pancakes Ash? Would you want pancakes Ash? What about excellence and integrity in your behavior Ash. If you half ass everything your whole life you will get no where with me. Pancakes and excellence Ash.
So I make him pancakes and I get the beginning of my message and then I go to work and the rest of the message hits me like a ton of bricks.
As I am working, cleaning, helping, making people smile, I feel this tug that I’m finally doing something that is Helping people and then I realize that I am happiest as a helper. I love love love helping other people be happy and find joy. I have been doing that my whole life through jokes and sarcasm and random life stories. I finally feel that yes Lord, I am a helper and I am done chasing money to be miserable I will just help.
So now I am trying to fill out some paperwork and just thinking of little things like taking someone’s birth year and doing the math to get how old they were and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do simple math and I’m sitting there struggling because how can I not do math?! I was a Senior Financial Analyst on a million dollar contract, how can I not do math?! Then I start to giggle because the lord goes “No more meat nugget Ash. It’s time to use your heart.” This is the problem with the world Ash. They have forgotten to think with their hearts.
Ok, Lord I hear that loud and clear. No more thinking with my head so what do I do if my brain won’t work to do simple things?! Tell them to think with their hearts Ash. That’s in the Bible too let’s look.
John 13:34-35 New King James Version (NKJV)
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Ok got it, think with my heart and be a doer of the word. What am I good at Lord? What is my way to help. How do I use my gift?! Well Ash, your gift like everyone else is something you/they have had all your lives. Think about when you are happiest? It’s always been when you help others smile.
Something as simple as that can be used to brighten someone’s day. If you are good at singing sing, if you like to help, help, if your gifted to preach then preach!
Ok Lord, I’m still struggling. How will I know my gift? You’ll know. You already do and so do they. They just don’t want to take the mirror off the wall Ash. That’s why you’re doing this. That’s why I am trying to reach them on this platform here through you. Because you’re the one listening to every little thing I ask you to do. Because they won’t like Facebook pages with scriptures, they won’t go to church so we will take the church to them.
My gift to you was your life of trauma and different levels of abuse all the way up to your 30’s. Mental, physical, manipulative, not only the abuse you suffered but the abuse you dolled out to everyone. You are no victim, you are tested and trialed and molded in the fire. (Google that scripture) All of those experiences led you to be able to finally describe in words in a way they will listen the pain that Jesus felt on the cross. You know how pain feels you know how all emotions feel. How do you feel when you are in a room with a lot of people? Overwhelmed by a tornado of emotions. Use that Ash. That is your gift, feeling emotions, intuition, the words of wisdom I am speaking through you and the gift of the Holy Spirits presence with you in the process.
Now go help others today and we will try to describe the vision that I gave you in prayer to the people. They need to understand the pain.

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