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Showing posts from April, 2024

232. How bout that

  It's funny when you work so hard your entire life to do the right things and they still turn out wrong. I remember the first time my reputation was hurt. When people saw me for a version of myself that I wasn't. I remember how that hurt and how small I felt, knowing that no matter what I said or did, people would think something about me that was against my character. I turned into a perfectionist, into someone who couldn't do wrong because she would get told about it if she did, and there is nothing worse than being told what a horrible person you are when in your heart you're not.  It's funny how certain people or situations can bring out versions of us that we didn't know existed that we use to cope with our surroundings. Like going to dinner with an old friend can bring up old memories.  Yet here I stand a grown woman with threats being made at me because of a decision to file for divorce. A decision I did not take lightly. A decision that has me outside o...

231. Who you are?

  What happens when you grow up, only to realize that you don't know who you are anymore; or if you ever did know in the first place? In the ministry, it's so easy. Sharing the amazing things of the Lord. Sharing where He shows up and how He is in the mix of it all, It's so easy. But how do we share the Lord in the mess?   How do we share the goodness of the Lord when the bills pile up, the food is gone, and you barely know how to put gas in your car without asking other people for help? How do we share the Lord to the people who's entire day is wrapped up in working or taking care of others? How do we share the Lord with people who are so burned out to the point that they are cursing God? How do we share the goodness of the Lord when we haven't seen it ourselves in quite some time? As ministers, as disciples, it seems so easy to tell people to sell it all and follow Him. But will you take His hand and follow him, if following Him means detriment to you physically, ...